I miss blogging. I mean, I don’t know that I have much to say these days (life is fairly repetitive here: apply to jobs, do consulting work, cook dinner, learn SQL, maybe bake, do dishes {my god, the dishes, they never end}, watch tv/read/text with friends, listen to Hamilton, repeat.), but I still miss coming here and mulling over whatever it is that’s on my mind. I miss talking about big things rattling around along with little things. I miss the way personal blogging used to feel more personal, but it feels hard to replicate that any more. Even if we could, see above on the applying to jobs thing, and all the googling that comes with that.
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I have a lot of time to think these days, which is sometimes good and sometimes bad. I spend time thinking about my career, what I want out of work and home and the intersection of them both, and the like. I also spend time thinking about the news and moods of the day: politics, race, feminism, class issues, etc. I’ve had some real good thinking time lately, and that means I’ve had a lot of opportunity to hone my thoughts (while also creating more questions at times, lets be honest) on issues of personal and worldly purview.
I think, perhaps, one of the issues with our busy lives is that we don’t often have enough time to process and think and learn.
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The flip side of that, of course, is that too much time spent thinking about certain things can create a spiral of doom, given the right circumstances. I have to be careful not to go from thinking to overthinking, from pondering to questioning. There’s a fine line but one side is helpful, and the other side is brutal.
It’s a balancing act, and one I’m not always good at right now.
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Sometimes, the best thing in the world when you can’t stop thinking, is friends and family who either a) distract you enough that you stop or b) help hone your thinking away from the overthinking and back onto the path of usefulness. I’ve been lucky to have people on my side these past few months who have stepped up to do both. Sometimes the best way to get out of your own head is to let people see a little glimpse inside it.
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