Last Day, First Day

by Ginger on June 29, 2014

in Mom Thoughts, The Kid

Last week was J’s last day of preschool.


They had a little graduation ceremony complete with caps and tassels and Pomp & Circumstance and, despite thinking the idea of a preschool graduation is utterly ridiculous in theory, in practice with my kid it was freaking adorable. Much like herding unruly cats. Jackson was a little ham, clowning it up during the songs, singing super loud, etc. It was super cute, and a good way to close out preschool.

I thought I would cry, what with the whole “mah baybeeeeee is growing up!” aspect of it all, but despite one little tiny moment with a lump in my throat, I was too busy enjoying the whole scenario to get too worked up.

We’ll see if I stay so composed when we drop him off at kindergarten Monday morning.

Because he’s going to a year round program, there’s not as much of a heavy air of beginnings and endings. He’s at the same school, we’ll park in the same parking lot, take him in the same building, see all the same teachers and administrators. The transition is so much smoother (I imagine) than it will be when we eventually move to public school. But for now, June just doesn’t feel like the end or the beginning of school after a lifetime of late August to late May being the school year.

And yet, I look at his new big kid backpack sitting by the door, filled with number 2 pencils and glue sticks, erasers and scissors, all the trappings of honest to goodness school, and my heart catches a little bit. I was reading the letter sent home by his new teacher (NOT in comic sans!) where she outlined not only the supply list, but talked about homework packets and field trips and Back to School night, and it feels surreal. How is it that he is old enough to be talking about homework already?

He is growing up, so fast but imperceptibly so sometimes. He just got here, and yet he has always been here, by some weird quirk of parental time.  These big milestones from one stage to another sometimes catch my breath, even though I see them on the horizon as we go along. I know they’re coming, but then they seem to just…appear out of nowhere somehow, and smack me in my emotional mommy core with how quickly this all goes.

The beginning of “big kid school” is the beginning of the next 13 years, of homework and learning, of field trips and recess, of first days and last days. It’s also, in a lot of ways, the beginning of the real process of letting him become who he is going to be, and of letting him go into the world and break away from us. The stakes only go up from here, and there is a weight and responsibility to trying to do our best to guide him through it with level heads and loving hearts. I *think* we’re up to the task, but only time will actually tell.

Whether I cry or not tomorrow doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. For now, I am excited for him, for what he will learn and how he will grow this next year. I’m excited to see the boy he’ll be on the last day next year, and I hope, oh I hope I hope I hope, that he comes through this year as excited to learn new things as he is today.

Mimi July 1, 2014 at 11:23 am

I love this…since I can’t be with you all this gives me a chance to get a little look at your lives. I want the very best for that darling boy!!! I pray for you all often!!

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