by Ginger on September 17, 2012

in Becoming Myself

I’m having one of those “I really don’t want to be the grown up today” days.

I spent the last 2 weeks busting tail at work, and it’s not slowing down anytime soon.

The kid was sick with strep this weekend.

My to-do list is 2 years long.

And all I want to do is curl up under the covers (metaphorically because it’s still too warm for that nonsense here) and ignore everything I need to do in favor of a good book or some mindless tv. I don’t want to work on profit and loss spreadsheets. I don’t want to write birthday thank you cards. I don’t want to make dinner, or pay bills, or clean the kitchen, or fold the laundry, or write all those emails I need to write, or return the library books, or call authors, or set up book signings, or deal with performance reviews, or make doctor’s appointments. I don’t WANNA.

I find that this happens after a prolonged period of nose-to-the-grindstone work. I reach a point where I just want to Shut. Down. I want to stop having to make decisions and just want to retreat into a quiet place where I don’t have to be the responsible one.

Unfortunately, being an adult doesn’t work like that. I can take my moments, maybe an hour here and there, but it’s not like I can hide under my desk at work or lock the bedroom door at home while the kid bangs on it calling “MOMMY!” It’s not like avoiding it all does anything in the long run other than make the to-do list longer tomorrow. Which then just compounds the problem.

But sometimes, my logical brain and my lizard brain get into these little tiffs and even though I know better, the only thing for it is to indulge, a little, in the hiding. So I’ll put away my email, put aside the to-do list, and just make it through the rest of the night. I’ll veg in front of the tv, and I’ll let my brain be an unused accessory.

And then tomorrow, I’ll pick the grown up label back up, and start over.

Unless anyone has a lead on where Neverland is…


Jesabes September 18, 2012 at 10:28 am

I had this exact day yesterday after three crazy weeks at work. My brain just refused to start at it again and I just sat in front of my computer pretending to look productive, but not really being. Back at it today! (And wondering how I’m going to get this week’s stuff done!)

Reading (and chickens) September 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

I am so there right now, too. Things just keep getting crazier and to-do lists get longer and there is absolutely no break some weeks. BLAH. I have no insights, just BLAH.

Natalie the Singingfool September 18, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Me too. *sigh,* me too. When you find Neverland, let me know.

Christine @ Love, Life, Surf September 18, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Oh man, I’ve been going through this for a while now. It’s definitely been a prolonged period of nose-to-the-grind work and I’m just tired. I too would like to be on the notification list about Neverland please!

Hope September 19, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I so, so hear you on this one!

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