Danger Zone

by Ginger on November 5, 2010

in I'm a Disaster, Mom Thoughts

Having a kid is hazardous to your health. Want proof?

Exhibit A:

We’re sitting and playing with Legos (well, technically they’re Mega Blocks, but whatever). Jackson gets excited because he’s learning to actually put the blocks together. When he gets excited, he often flings things. Which is how I end up with a Mega Block to the eye.

Exhibit B:

We’re playing on the floor. I’m “hiding” by laying down with a pillow over my head. Jackson comes barreling over to find me, but he feels the need to climb on me before pulling the pillow off. Which is how I end up with a knee to the chin.

Exhibit C:

I’m putting Jackson to bed, so I turn off the light and walk across the room to the chair to nurse. However, there is a rogue block in my way, and since I’m only guided by the nightlight, I don’t see it. Which is how I ended up turning my ankle (and trying not to fall with the kid in my arms).

See? Hazardous to your health.

Accidents November 5, 2010 at 9:16 am

Hank ran at me on Halloween and perfectly knocked the back of my knee so that I totally folded. We both fell down, and he got *all* the attention and sympathy, whereas *I* **THE VICTIM** didn’t even get offered a fun-size candy bar.

THe Lungos November 5, 2010 at 10:11 am

Harlan once head butted during a tantrum and split my lip, chipped a very small part of my tooth and gave me a bloody nose.

bekah November 5, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Uh huh, Uh huh, I feel ya. Our house looked like a scene out of Home Alone the other day when Jack had, for whatever reason, left a couple of vroom-vrooms right at the bottom of the staircase.

Vroom-vrooms is how that sentence came out in my head, and I almost changed it to cars, but then I thought…she has a boy…she totally knows.

clara November 5, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Oh god yes. With the Legos embedded in your feet, tripping over yo-yo strings.

My poor husband has had to have several conversations with Jr. about his tendency to run headlong into our bodies while we are standing still. Because Jr’s hard head is at crotch level, means some rather significant pain for the Mister.

Also, last year almost to the day now that I think about it, the same son, then 3.5, had his head on his pillow and I bent to kiss him goodnight and he reared up and all but broke my nose with his hard head. I swear I had bruises and swelling and a stuffy nose for a week.

My other son is only injurious to our eardrums.

Megan November 5, 2010 at 7:54 pm

I can laugh at this since I can also commiserate!

Yeah, Charlotte plays…rough. She is of the “climb all over you and kick you in the face” variety. So, I have my war wounds for sure.

Rachel November 6, 2010 at 3:55 pm

I want to write a comment about how my daughter hasn’t ever hurt me that bad, but since I have a baby on the way I am afraid of cursing myself.

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