The other woman

by Ginger on October 28, 2008

in Marriage, The Artist's Wife

Sometimes I feel like my husband’s art is the other woman in our relationship. He comes home late after being with her all night, long after I go to bed. He sheepishly hides receipts for the things he’s bought her. He makes plans with her whenever he has free time. Sometimes he’s too tired from being with her to do things with me. I occasionally get jealous and force him to choose me over her, but he always goes back.

Other times, I feel like his art is our child. Our time revolves around it. We spend more money on it than we do on ourselves at times. We’re constantly running all over creation for its events (talk about an over scheduled child). We put all our energy into making sure it has a better chance of making it big. Work, friends, and private time for our marriage can be secondary to its immediate needs.

Either way, his art definitely puts our lives into a  vice grip at times. Deadlines and events and jobs have a way of taking over. I’ve learned over the years of being with him, it’s part of what I got when I said I would accept him and his career. But I’ve also learned over the years that I can: make him take breaks, give me a day (or evening) free from art, schedule better to allow us time off (like this past weekend), work differently so that he doesn’t end up in the studio until 4am 7 nights in a row. I can exert my influence over him as his wife to help him make LIFE and not just art a priority.

And when things get really bad, and he really can’t break away from the art, I do what wives have done throughout history when their husbands aren’t paying enough attention to them–I break out the lingerie.

Tough Girl Kat October 28, 2008 at 1:18 pm

It’s better than the ‘other woman’ being your mother in law… I’m just saying.

If the lingerie works, it cant be that bad, right?

anna October 28, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Yeah, I feel for you, but I do think it could be worse. There is something refreshing about a man who has found his calling and is passionate about his work. Lately, my husband has been acting this way about the yet-to-be-released Blackberry Storm. So just think about that for a little while. 🙂

Ginger October 28, 2008 at 4:03 pm

True on both counts ladies, so true!

Kat, I’m very lucky that while my mil is wonderful, she is NOT that much of a force in our lives.

Anna, you are 100% right that his passion and drive for his work is great(hell, I don’t have it!). And I routinely thank the powers that be that he gets amped about his own career/work more than gadgets, sports, or cars 🙂

Anna October 29, 2008 at 9:08 am

Hate it – Get it – Love it —

Clearly you are a smart woman ;0)

Sara GH October 29, 2008 at 3:39 pm

I TOTALLY get what you are saying. My husband is sometimes out late for his job and can put in some extra hours and while I like that he likes his job, I still want him home to be with me, even if we’re just sitting on the couch watching TV.

It’s a catch 22!!

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