The Office Made Me Philosophical

by Ginger on May 16, 2013

in Becoming Myself

We just finished watching the series finale of The Office, a show we came to late, stayed with for years, and then watched sporadically if at all after Steve Carell left. But we wanted to see these characters off, even though we hadn’t kept up with them very well the last year or so. As expected, it was an emotional episode, and, as I should have known, it was Jim and Pam who tipped me over from misty eyed straight over into crying. But it was this line that really has me thinking:

“There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kinda the point?” – Pam Beasley Halpert

It’s so easy in this world to get caught up in big things, to focus on grand moments, larger than life experiences, superstars, celebrities, fame, power, etc. etc. And it can feel, sometimes, like your life isn’t given as much importance or meaning if you’re not reaching all the time for those big things. But as Pam said, there’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. There’s beauty in little moments, in glances, in laughs, in the simple.

There is beauty in each of our lives, if we just look around. The Office was built on the idea of a documentary film crew who happens to capture every moment of these people’s working lives, and in capturing that time, they film friendships and romances and fights and laughter and looks and sighs and everything in between. It’s in an outside perspective seeing these people interact that so much gets revealed.

If there was a documentary film crew following you around, what would they see? Sure, they’d see the hard stuff–the stressful days, the self-doubt, the interpersonal challenges, and yes, the not pretty side of you. But they’d also see the good stuff, the stuff you maybe don’t even notice. Your spouse smiling at you as you walk in the room. You petting your dog while you relax on the couch. Your kid reaching up to hold your hand. Your family “dancing” together in the car. The laugh that escapes when your friend is trying to cheer you up with a silly comment. A hug from your mom.

There are so many small, ordinary, BEAUTIFUL moments that make up each of our days. They may not be grand, but if we could only see them with an outside perspective, maybe it would be easier to give them more importance. Maybe it would be easier to see the beauty they bring to our lives.

And wouldn’t it be nice to recognize and focus on the beauty we are blessed with more often?

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Life With Them

by Ginger on May 15, 2013

in Family, Marriage, Mommyhood

Tonight, we went out to dinner to celebrate N.C.’s very successful Purge show–months of work that has a good amount of sales is always worth celebrating. When we walked into the restaurant, they had a musician (or 2? I never got a good look) who was playing, and the vibe was relaxed and happy and oh so nice.

This is a restaurant we frequent often–enough that we get asked if we want our “usual” table or our “other usual” table, enough that they bring us free appetizers for being such loyal customers, enough that they know how to talk to Jackson directly–and so we have a high level of comfort there. It helps too that Jackson has gotten (mostly) really good at being in restaurants, so we know he can handle himself, which takes some of our stress off. Tonight, he walked over to our table, ordered his drink and food, and then settled in with games on my phone and then crayons and paper while N.C. and I toasted to a successful show and a good payoff after months of hard work.

Later, after we had gotten our food and drinks, Jackson moved over to sit next to N.C. and I got a clear picture of these two together that just made my heart go pitter patter. They both started sort of jamming to the music, eyes closed, bopping around, and I just couldn’t help but smile, to see my boy and his dad, my husband and his son, so clearly cut from the same cloth.

Life with these two is never dull. It’s not always easy, as they’re both big personalities, but it is always interesting, filled with laughter and music and smiles and dancing and happiness. And sometimes, I get a really clear picture of the special things the two of them bring to my life.

Even if it’s just a little chair dancing while we eat french fries.

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So, it’s clear around here that I’ve gotten a little into makeup and nail polish and beauty boxes and the like. Which is fun and interesting (and terrible for my bank account). But given that prior to the last few months, my makeup routine took all of 5 minutes in the morning and could, very easily, be done with 4 products, it IS, I think, a little odd, this new habit/hobby.

Or I did, until this morning.

One of my friends on Twitter said something about the crazy amount of lip stuff from my last post and how she was impressed with my ability to gussy up. And my answer dawned on me:

“I think it’s something I’ve started doing more to get me through crappy days at work.”

I can match some of my growing interest in getting gussied up to the timeline of work going absolutely bananas. Sure, some of it has to do with me coming out of the funky cloud of depression and anxiety. And sure, there’s an element in there of becoming friends with more people who are into makeup and beauty stuff and talk/write about it a fair amount (Laura and TJ in particular have helped fuel my newfoundish makeup obsessions), and once I started getting into it, I realized, HEY, it’s fun to talk about this stuff with other people who like to talk about this stuff. And sure, there is an element of “this is a fun hobby, it’s fun to collect pretty things!” that’s there as well.

But it’s also a hobby that makes me feel good about myself, during the day, out in the world where people see me. And if I’m totally honest, I need that perk at work a LOT these days. I…don’t always feel great about myself at work lately. I feel overworked and undervalued and talked over and ignored. I have more work than one person can manage, and I never can do it all enough to please everyone. And there are days when I seriously feel like the only thing people do is complain about what I’m NOT doing, while completely ignoring everything I AM doing.

So maybe it’s no surprise that, around the same time that work started going bonkers, I found something that makes me feel pretty and special and noticeable in good ways. If I need to be a power player at work, it’s amazing what wearing a bold read lipstick will do to help me feel like I’m capable of kicking ass and taking names. If I’m feeling completely overwhelmed, it’s nice to feel like I at least LOOK put together. And on days when I’m stuck doing absolutely no creative work at all because I’m buried under sales reports and technical issues and management and budgets and and and and….it’ s nice to have this one little creative thing with me, that makes me feel good about myself.

Look, I realize this might sound completely bonkers. I’m not trying to say that makeup makes me good at my job–I’m damn good at my job, makeup or no. And I’m not trying to say that makeup LETS me deal with other people, or gets me to do things I’m scared/nervous to do. No, I deal with people because it’s my job, and I rarely, if ever, get scared/nervous at work. But what makeup has been giving me is something to smile about on the all to frequent days when my job beats me into the ground. It’s giving me a little…oomph. That’s all.

AND it’s a fun hobby. That too.

 

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I thought for my next Makeup Monday, I’d share my lipsticks with you. I really should have thought about how much work this was going to be, because, as you’ll see shortly, I have a bit of a problem.

THIS:

Lipstick

Is just the stuff I carry with me in my purse. Every day. It wasn’t until doing this exercise that I realized how ridiculous that is. There is really no reason on earth that I should be carrying 17 lipsticks/glosses/colors & 3 liners every day. I’m rolling my eyes at myself. (Also, the color on that pic is pretty terrible. Sorry about that). Now, to be fair to myself a little, a bunch of these are pre-red hair colors, and I’ve been struggling a little to find colors that work with the hair. So, you know, not all of these work all the time anymore. But still, this is a bit much.

But, I said I’d do this right, so let’s go ahead and see some swatches, eh?

Fullarmswatchesoutside

This is all of those, in outdoor light.

Fullarmswatches

And indoors, but by a window, so there’s natural light. I’ll save you all from the yellow photos from my bathroom. You’re welcome.

From left to right, they are:

Philosophy Red Velvet Cake Lipshine (no longer available, apparently)
Stila Lip Enamel Luxe Gloss – Ecstasy
Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick – Beso
MAC Lustre Lipstick – Hug Me
Laura Geller – Caribbean Kiss (this is a two sided lipstick, so it’s two swatches up there)
Origins Matte Stick – Berry
Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain – Honey
Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain – Adore
Urban Decay Lip Junkie Lipgloss – Wallflower
Smashbox Be Legendary Lipstick – Fig
Urban Decay Lip Junkie Lipgloss – Perversion
MAC ProLongwear LipColor – For Keeps
MAC ProLongwear LipColor – Boss Brown (doesn’t look like this one is available anymore. Which is depressing, because it’s an awesome color on me)
Urban Decay Super Saturated High Gloss Lip Color – Glinda (apparently, Naked is a dupe for the Glinda color, which came in an Oz palette)
L’Oreal Colour Riche – True Red
Revlon Color Burst Lip Butter – Pink Truffle
Revlon Color Burst Lip Butter – Fig Jam

And the lip liners, from top to bottom:

MAC Cremestick Liner – Beurre
Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Lip Pencil – Gash
Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Lip Pencil – Envious

Whew.

Let’s see those a little closer:

Swatchespt1

Philosophy Red Velvet Cake Lipshine (bummer that this isn’t available anymore. It has a really nice chocolatey smell and a hint of color)

Stila Lip Enamel Luxe Gloss – Ecstasy This is a pretty deep purple color. It also has some serious staying power–I had to scrub my arm for a good 10 minutes to get all the color off.

Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick – Beso Now, you want to talk about staying power. This stuff is a real stain–you need to pay attention while you’re putting this on, because it stains right away and there’s very little time to fix any errors. In fact, I still, a day after taking these pics, have some remnants of that swatch. It goes on matte, and can be a little drying (but don’t put a gloss on over, because then it loses most of the staining power). But the color payoff is pretty awesome.

MAC Lustre Lipstick – Hug Me This may be my Holy Grail “my lips but better” color. Because of course it would be MAC. Anyway, it feels awesome, and is a great nude/pink color that doesn’t change to toooooooo pink, like so many nudes do on me.

Laura Geller – Caribbean Kiss (this is a two sided lipstick, so it’s two swatches up there) The pink side of this is REALLY pink on me, which doesn’t look so hot with my bright red hair. But mixed with the brownish color, it ends up being a nice neutral. I got this through Birchbox, I think–I never would have bought otherwise–but I find that the formula is really nice and creamy, and am kind of eyeing some of the other color combos.

Origins Matte Stick – Berry I have had this thing forever. Actually, I know exactly when I bought it–1 month before Jackson was born, because I was in a “I feel ugly and need something to look pretty and can’t buy clothes because I am a house” mood. I’ve clearly worn this down to the nub, and that’s because it’s a pretty great color/formula.

Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain – Honey I know, I know, everyone loooovvvveees this. The formula is great, particularly when you just want to swipe something on your lips without worrying about it staining your face (ahem, Beso), and it feels nice, and all those things. And Honey seems to be the color that everyone loves. But for me, it turns just crazy pink. If you have the right skin tone/hair color, it’s probably a great color, but for me it just doesn’t really work by itself (I mix it with another product to get some use out of it).

Swatchespt2

Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain – Honey (just overlap from the previous photo)

Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain – Adore This one is a better color on me, being a little less pink. It ends up just a nice hint of color, which works fine for me.

Urban Decay Lip Junkie Lipgloss – Wallflower I got this as a sample with a palette I got from UD, and I find I really like it. It’s a very nice my lips but better, but glossy.

Smashbox Be Legendary Lipstick – Fig You can’t tell from this photo, but this goes more purple on me. And it’s darker than this looks too. I love the feeling, and it’s a nice bold color without being RED. And strangely, purples/berries look pretty good with my hair. Who knew?

Urban Decay Lip Junkie Lipgloss – Perversion Ok, this is kind of fun. I bought it because it was on sale, and I felt like trying something random. It’s a dark dark dark purple, almost black, with some shimmer in it. If I do one swipe, it just looks like a deep purple color. If I do more than that? I can totally go into a goth girl thing. (I don’t really do that, but it’s fun to pretend). I actually end up mixing this with Honey–the dark purple mellows out the pink and vice versa, which ends up making a pretty color.

MAC ProLongwear LipColor – For Keeps
MAC ProLongwear LipColor – Boss Brown These two lipcolors are one of my favorite things, because they really are LONG WEARING. I use these a lot when I have a day full of meetings, or if I’m working a trade show where I’m not going to be able to touch up my makeup. I have, on occasion, gotten upwards of 15 hours of wear from these suckers, including eating and drinking. More commonly, I’ll get a good 6-8 hours. They’re a little drying, but so, so worth it when the color really does last.

Urban Decay Super Saturated High Gloss Lip Color – Glinda This is another good “mlbb” color. It came in an Oz palette from UD, but apparently there’s a color Naked which is a dupe of this one. It’s got a great feel–creamy and smooth–and the color is pretty rich for a crayon-y thing. I’m seriously considering trying some of the other colors. (Uh, someday. Because I clearly don’t need more lipsticks right now).

L’Oreal Colour Riche – True Red I originally bought this red last year to be Joan from Mad Men for Halloween. That was the beginning of my desire for red hair, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised this has started to make an appearance again. The lipstick is very hydrating, but the red may be a tinge on the orange side for me. It’s not terrible, I don’t think, but I find myself reaching for Beso more if I have time to really PUT ON my lips, and this if I just need a quick swipe kind of thing.

Revlon Color Burst Lip Butter – Pink Truffle
Revlon Color Burst Lip Butter – Fig Jam  I really like both of these. They’re super sheer, so you can build the color up to your liking–either really light or (as I’ve swatched here) more coverage for some darker colors. I like the formula too, so it’s a nice thing to have on hand to just swipe for some color when your lips are feeling dry without worrying that you’re gonna end up with color all over your face.

And the liners:

liners

MAC Cremestick Liner – Beurre I wear this under Hug Me, if I want a little deeper color. But it’s a nude/pink color, so would probably work with any of my “MLBB” colors.
Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Lip Pencil – Gash (What a terrible name, IMO). I bought this to go under Beso, which works great. I really love UD’s 24/7 glide on–easy to use, creamy, just all around nice.
Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Lip Pencil – Envious This one I bought to go under the Smashbox Fig color. This is a little more indicative of the purple color that Fig becomes. Again, love the formula.

So, now you’ve seen all about the lipsticks I carry. Along with 1500 words on them (geez, apparently I have lots of words about makeup….). I really shouldn’t ask (because I clearly need more lipsticks like a hole in the head), but….do you have a lip thing you love that I should check out?

(Holy Cow. I’m terrified now what my post about eye makeup is going to look like. Because if you think I have lots of lip stuff, you’ve not seen my eyeshadows before…)

Now! Head on over to
Maria Melee and check out the other Makeup Monday posts! Also, check out #MakeupMonday on Twitter and Instagram for your full makeup fix.

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Becoming and Being a Mom

by Ginger on May 12, 2013

in Family, Mommyhood

When I had Jackson, I became a mother. He MADE me a mother. I have grown as his mom, and will continue to grow as his mom, and I am so, so thankful that I get the chance to mother him, and learn from him, and love him.

But my mom spent my lifetime teaching me HOW to be a mother. My entire life is filled with her example for motherhood, and I can only hope that I am able to take her lessons and become half the mom she was and is. I am so, so thankful that she was the one who mothered me, and taught me, and loved me.

I love my son for making me a mom, and I will always love my mother for being mine.

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