I heard a report on NPR this morning about how our use of pronouns can determine who holds power in a relationship, who will end up together on a date, and who has the higher social status. It was really interesting, if a little mind boggling, to think that things like your use/non-use of the word “I” can determine that. If the upper hand/authority really lands with the person who uses “I” the least, does that say  anything about the inherent nature of social media? (That’s about where my thought ends before my brain starts contracting in knots.)

I’m trying to own my opinions, wants, and likes more. I apparently (ha!) have a habit of putting everyone else’s opinions before my own, at least in my person life (at work, it’s not opinions. It’s knowledge and experience). You’d be shocked how much the muscle of putting yourself first can atrophy if you let it.

I’m slowly working on cutting back, and possibly eventually out, caffeine. I’m currently doing it through a very highly sophisticated method I call “mixing in caffeine free Diet Coke” which allows me to feel like I’m still drinking soda while slowly changing the caffeine ratio. You guys, I’m down to AT MOST 2 cans of caffeinated soda a day. This is…well, this is really astounding for me. (We’ll work on cutting out the caffeine free stuff after I get the caffeine out).

I know I’m coming out of my fog a little because I’m starting to feel bad about all the comments that have gone unanswered recently. You guys leave such lovely and thoughtful comments, and now that I don’t feel like I’m totally drowning, I want to start getting better about responding the way I used to.

My kid says “packpack” (backpack) and “eye-icorn” (unicorn) and “turtles” (shoulders). And last night when he was saying “hold mommy’s turtles” I thought how sad I’ll be when he learns to say it the right way.

I desperately want a real vacation, but there isn’t one to be seen on the horizon. So instead I’m trying to figure out a one day getaway with my husband for our upcoming anniversary that is drivable, won’t break the bank, but will feel like we’re on vacation. Wish me luck.

Sometimes I hate how cynical I am about blogging and bandwagons. But I also know how awesome blogging has been for me, so I figure I’ll take the bad with the good. (Most days. Some days I just have to roll my eyes and stop clicking links).

Mondays have become a bear of a day, with back to back meetings and appointments. It’s annoying, but it’s also nice to know at the end of a Monday that the rest of the week SHOULD get easier.

Sunday nights are officially one of my favorites now with Game of Thrones and Mad Men. I look forward to it ALL WEEK. I’ve stopped watching a lot of other TV, but those two are totally making up for it.

I’ve lived in the San Diego area for 5 years now. I still feel like we just moved here last year. Does that ever change?

My Thanksgiving was surprisingly chill and relaxing (or as relaxing as a day can be with a toddler), which given that my kid didn’t nap a single minute and we somehow (again) screwed up the timing of our (easy, practically ready made) dinner so we didn’t eat until 7pm was kind of a miracle.

(parenthesis time! Yay!)

But still, it was a good day, complete with elastic pants and good thoughts of thanks, gratitude and reflection on our families, blessings and lives filled with love.

To balance out all that schmoopy-ness yesterday, today we had epic tantrums, toilets & tubs bubbling and backing up, and dogs vomiting. But at least I wasn’t at work?

Ah holidays, balancing the good with the absurd to keep it real.

Watching yourself in a mirror doing jumping jacks in JUST a sports bra and shorts will either be the most motivating or the most soul-crushing thing imaginable.

Proceed at your own risk.

It’s Friday.

My brain is fried.

I am counting down the minutes until tonight, when I shall feast on pizza and beer while watching TV.

I am impatiently waiting to leave work behind for 2 days.

I am anxiously awaiting the chance to hang with this little guy.

TGIF indeed.

I don’t know whether it’s the time change, what with the darkness and the ridiculously bad traffic since everyone is now driving in the dark  and the leaving the office in the dark and oh did I mention the dark (as an aside, why does a one hour time difference feel like 4.5 hours at 7pm?), but I’ve been…blah. Tired and listless and irritable and snippy and uninterested in…stuff. TV? Meh. Books? Meh. Work? Meh. Anything beyond just sitting here slack jawed? Meh.

But if I think about it, it’s been going on longer than just a week. I’ve kind of felt like this for a while. Maybe it’s stress (it’s probably stress). Maybe it has to do with the season changes (it probably has something to do with the season changes). Maybe it’s frustration (it’s probably frustration). Maybe I’m just wallowing (I’m probably just wallowing).

I’ve been trying to do some things to see if I can feel less blah. I can’t do anything about some of the stress or frustration or the season changes, but I’m hoping to can help myself out some other ways. I’ve been trying to drink more water. I’ve been trying to work out 3 times a week. I’ve been trying to go for walks at lunch, or at least go outside. I’ve been trying to go to bed a little earlier. I’ve been trying to dance in my kitchen with my kid even when I don’t feel like it. I’ve been trying to breath more and swallow my frustrations less.

We’ll see. So far, I’m still blah, but between the time change, the news, the weather changes, and work stuff, maybe that’s not surprising. I probably just need to give it more time. But it’s hard to keep working on that stuff when I’d rather just sit here. Slack-jawed. And meh.