Yesterday, I was in a bigger funk than I’ve felt in a while. There’s a lot that combined to get me there, but I was pretty much at a “what am I doing with my life” spiral of doom. I was on the edge of tears almost all day, and just felt very…lost.

But this isn’t a sad tale. Instead, it’s a tale of why social media has come to mean so much to me.

After Jackson went down to bed, I hoped online as I usually do. My original goal was to do a little bit of work, then go either read a book or watch a movie that would make me cry before going to bed. There may have been some cookies and wallowing involved too. But of course, Twitter was there while I was working. I put a whiny little tweet up about how funky I was feeling (what, you DON’T share every thought in your head on Twitter?), and went on about my work.

And here’s where the story picks up.

Within minutes, I had people commiserating with me. I had people dm’ing me to ask if I wanted to talk it out. I had people sending me links to things that might lift my spirits. Within about two hours, I had a new perspective and the beginnings of a happier heart, thanks to the people inside the glowy box.

This isn’t the first time that social media has come to my aid. I’ve had people all over the world reach out to help me with first aid, meal planning, kid sleep issues, nursing dilemmas, pumping questions, work needs, vacation planning, and blog advice–along with my favorites of just talking to me, keeping me company and being my friends.

Whenever someone scoffs that social media is just a waste of time, I have to roll my eyes. Because this? This support and companionship and help? Well, I wouldn’t call that a waste of time. You get out of it what you put into it, and for people who don’t see this…well, they’ll never have a group of people from around the world lifting their spirits at 10pm on a Tuesday, all thanks to social media.

Me though? I’ll continue to love the connections that social media brings me. It all—YOU ALL—have made such a positive difference in my life, that I’ll always be grateful.

On Saturday, I got the stomach flu. I was down for the count for two full days.

On Monday, I had two hours at the dentist.

On Tuesday, I got blisters in the back of my throat.

Today, I got diagnosed with a sinus infection.

I’d be looking forward to the weekend, but I’m kinda afraid of what it might bring me.

Edit: I knew I shouldn’t have complained. I got home from work, and promptly managed to burn the crap out of my thumb making dinner. Yeah. I’m over this week.

Yesterday, I spent 2 hours at the dentist, putting my 2012 dentist time at 4 hours…with another 10 hours scheduled before the end of March.

I’ve written before about my crappy teeth, and while I didn’t end up taking the cheap doctor up on the cheap veneers (thank goodness), I *AM* finally starting the process of getting crowns. They are not cheap, they are not covered by insurance, but N.C. and I have talked about it for a few years and finally decided that it was time to do what we could to save some of my teeth. My 14 hours of dental work will get me 6 crowns, a new nightguard, and a little bit of whitening for my other teeth (because if I’m gonna pay a ridiculous amount of money for new teeth, why would I want them to be yellow to start with?).

And I’ll admit, the whole thing seems incredibly selfish and overly indulgent.

My husband gets frustrated when I say that to him. Because to him (and probably to normal people) the idea of doing work that will help me keep my teeth isn’t selfish, it’s smart. The idea of avoiding a mouth full of dentures or implants at a relatively early age isn’t cosmetic, or about beauty, or about anything other than taking care of yourself.

But here’s the thing. I gladly and willingly do little things for myself all the time. I take time for myself to blog because it makes me happy. I buy the foods I like because I enjoy them. I (try) to take time off when I’m sick. Heck, when Jackson was a baby and I was on maternity leave, I made it a point to shower and do my makeup every day because it made me feel better. I get that, and I get how important it is.

But spending REAL money on myself? I mean, REAL money? Not $20 here, or $5 there, but the kind of money that you have to save and scrimp, the kind of money that you know could pay down debt or build your 401k or geez, even the kind of money that would let you take an honest to goodness vacation? To take that kind of money and spend it on myself, on something that EVERYONE categorizes as cosmetic (even though for me, it’s not really)?

Well, like I said, it feels selfish. And overly indulgent.

I’ve been fighting that feeling since we made the decision last fall. I’ve been trying to tell myself that taking care of myself, even if it’s something that is considered cosmetic, is important. That I need teeth for this little thing called eating that I’m rather fond of (and that my body rather requires).  That it’s not selfish to put myself first once in a while.

So I’ve spent four hours at the dentist this month. And I’ve scheduled another 10 hours over the next two months. And I tell myself that it’s not wrong, it’s not selfish, it’s not BAD to spend money on something I need. And that getting a pretty new smile is just a bonus on top of the necessity of the crowns.

Maybe if I keep telling myself that, it’ll stop feeling like a lie at some point, right?

I have 10 minutes left of the lunch break I’m forcing myself to take (stop looking at the blinking message light on your work phone Ginger. It can wait 10 minutes), and I’m making myself do anything but work.

On the way to work this morning I forced myself to stop every time my thoughts drifted towards the upcoming work day (stressing about it in rush hour traffic isn’t going to get it done any faster Ginger. It can wait until you get there), instead turning the music up and singing along to every song that came on.

Tonight on the way home, I’m going to try and force myself to ignore whatever happened today (worrying about it on your home won’t do anything about it Ginger. Wait until you’re back in the office tomorrow), instead thinking about the little boy and his dad who are waiting for me at home.

I’m overly stressed about work, clearly, and I’m bringing that stress into every part of my life. But my goal this week is to STOP THAT, or at least vastly reduce it. I need to reduce my stress level some, both for my general well-being and to make me more effective at work, and I’m starting with the idea that work needs to stay at work. And that I need a lunch break in the middle of the day that is TRULY work free.

But I feel like there’s more I can try, which is where you guys come in.

So tell me, internet, how do YOU destress? How do you stop the constant repetition of issues and problems (be they work or home or other) that leads you to crappy sleep, a short temper, and all around bad-moody-ness?

Do you guys ever play the “if I/we won the lottery” game? You know, where you see some major lottery amount and start to do the daydream about what you’d do with all that money?

I do. It’s not uncommon to see jackpots over $50 million, and when you’re pulling into Circle K on fumes the day before payday on your way to work where you’re going to sit in 6 hours of meetings, sometimes you can’t help but let your mind wander.

The daydreams always start out awesome. “We’ll be debt free!” “We’ll buy an awesome house on the beach!” “We’ll travel the world!” “We’ll set up a trust for Jackson!” “I’ll quit my job!” (clearly, if you win multimillions like that, you quit your job).

Yeah, it’s all well and good and daydreamy for about 10 minutes.

But here’s the sad part. After that? Things go south pretty quick.

“First thing I”d do would be quit! Well, how exactly would I quit my job? Would I quit right away or give 2 weeks? If it was right away, would I go into the office and get my stuff before hand?” etc.

“Actually, before I did that, we should probably pay off the bills first, huh? I mean, we don’t want to be late on bills when we’re about to come into millions.” etc.

“Well, before we really did anything, we’d probably want to find an accountant and a lawyer, right? I mean, that probably should be first. But hiring someone for that, how do you find someone you trust?” etc.

“We’d probably want to get a few bank accounts. And we would probably want to talk to a financial planner. I mean, those millions can go fast if you don’t prepare. So maybe we take a couple million for fun, and just invest the rest. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to quit my job, just in case.” etc.

“Well, and how would we tell our families? I mean, in person probably, right? So who would we visit first? I mean, we’d want to do that before we did any globe-trotting right?” etc.

You guys, even in my daydreams and fantasies about winning MILLIONS OF DOLLARS,I worry about the logistics. I never get to the point of what cities we’ll visit when we travel. I never get to  where we’ll go shopping, or what we’ll buy, or how we’ll splurge because I’m TOO BUSY WITH THE LOGISTICS OF GETTING AN ACCOUNTANT.

I think there’s something seriously wrong with me.