The day began, as it does every day lately, with a little boy standing next to the bed at 6am saying “nice sleeps?” and wanting to crawl in next to us. But being that it was Mother’s Day and I specifically asked to sleep in for “my day”, N.C. took the kid upstairs to watch TV while I grabbed another couple of hours of sleep. Note to younger me: someday 8:30 am will be considered sleeping in.

For “brunch”, I had a typical weekend breakfast of eggs, bacon, hashbrowns & diet coke while watching Despicable Me with my family. No one threw a tantrum the entire time, and Despicable Me is actually pretty cute. Note to younger me: Someday you’ll watch cartoons a million times and beg for something you haven’t seen, even if you previously loved it.

They went and got some milk at some point too. Jackson valiantly fought this gallon of milk for 5 minutes.

While Jackson napped, I watched 127 Hours (it was good. I probably shouldn’t have watched it on Mother’s Day, but it was good), and when the movie was over, I took a leisurely 45 minutes to shower and get dressed. Note to younger me: enjoy those 45 minute showers. Someday they will be a luxury.

For a late lunch, I decided to try my luck by requesting sushi & ice cream. Despite a couple of ants-in-the-pants moments, Jackson did a great job of behaving at the practically empty restaurant (sushi restaurant at 3:30 is apparently not the happening place on Mother’s Day. Who knew?). We didn’t even have to inhale our food, instead taking our time eating. And then we all got ice cream. Note to younger me: enjoy those lazy, drawn out meals. Someday you’ll be lucky if you get 20 minutes for your dinner.

Everyone needed to burn off some energy, so we went with the dog and the kid to an open field, where they ran around for about an hour, chasing birds (the dog), tennis balls (the kid), and generally being wild (everyone). We left covered in dirt & burrs, but with a solidly worn out crew. Note to younger me: any ideas you may have had about adulthood being cleaner & fancier than childhood? Yeah, not so much.

By the time we got home, it was meltdown central. I passed bath duty off on N.C. and mindlessly chopped stuff for our dinner (I find chopping to be therapeutically repetitive), but went down to do the nighttime ritual before long. Jackson was crazy tired, so we shortened everything up & before long it was time for “nigh nigh mommy.” With the lights off, the soft gray of a hazy twilight outside softened the room while I sang songs, asked Jackson to tell me about our day, rubbed his back & combed my fingers through his curls. Then it was “one more rockabye bayybeee mommy?,” and little arms around my neck, and “kisses make mommy HAPPY!,” and “I lub you mommy.” And I sat with a little boy in my lap, in that soft gray light, and smiled at how perfect a Mother’s Day it had been.

Note to younger me: This will someday be a perfect day. There won’t be gifts wrapped with a bow, or fancy celebrations, and you will think a day like this is the best gift ever.You have SO much to look forward to is what I’m saying.

It’s time, once again, for Linda’s year in review questionnaire, which I love because it keeps me from going all slack-jawed and stupid about “what the hell did I do this year?” by forcing me to answer specific questions (of course, I’ll still forget stuff. It’s inevitable). Let’s see how 2011 stacks up to 2010, shall we?

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Danced in a flash mob. Went to not one, not two, but three blog conferences. Lost 20 pounds (even if I gained 10 of it back) with the help of Biggest Blogging Loser. Got a little bit of fashion sense. Did Vegas like grown-ups. Got a dog. Weaned a kid (holy hormonal hell batman!). Vlogged…twice! Went to the Del Mar races.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year??

I’m actually pretty impressed with myself. Out of 41 items on my 2011 To-Do list (instead of resolutions), I accomplished all but 16. Of those 16, I came REALLY close to checking another 3 off. I’d consider that an overall success.

I’ll definitely be doing another goals list–I found it a much better way for me to approach the new year than resolutions. It was really helpful to be able to see it as a task list, filled with things I could accomplish, rather than general big picture changes that always seem vague: “eat better” “exercise more” “get more done”, etc. If anything, I need to get MORE specific.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth??

Lots of friends and family, and lots of internet friends. (Still don’t have baby fever though).

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully no one I was close to passed away this year.

5. What countries did you visit?

Sadly, none. There *may* be a chance that I’ll be able to change that next year (Vancouver, I’m coming for you!).

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Direction. Patience. Motivation. Local friends I can just…call up to hang out with. (and I wouldn’t say no to a little more money either).

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Like I remember dates. HA! But I will remember these events: BlogHer, specifically the Operation Glory flashmob & reading this post at the Listen To Your Mother open mic event, for how awesome it was to put myself out there. The day I got my promotion because it justified all the hard work I’ve done. This moment with my sweet little boy because it was so adorable. My fifth wedding anniversary, because hey VEGAS! The earthquake/tsunami in Japan for being so terrifying. The 10th anniversary of 9/11 for being so heartbreaking. The power outage in San Diego for really making me question what we’d REALLY do in a major emergency.  Halloween, because DAMN is that kid of mine adorable. This day at the beach in October, for the pure joy and fun of the day.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year??

Losing 20 pounds (I lost a few more pounds after that post was written). Launching several big digital products at work. Solving a problem at work that has been around for at least 7 years. Surviving the trip to Texas with Jackson.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I think most of my biggest failures are all about other people. I know I failed at being the parent I want to be a lot of the time. I know I failed at being the wife I want a lot of the time. And I know I’ve not been the best daughter, friend, or relative that one could ask for.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Well, let’s just say I put my kid in daycare and leave it at that.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

New iPhone. A Nook (yes, I’ve only had it for 3 days and I already think it’s that great). A partially new wardrobe.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Rent. Daycare. Gas. Groceries (dudes, feeding this family of 3 people and 2 animals is WAY more expensive than it should be).

13. What did you get really excited about?

Watching my kiddo grow and learn and thrive. That sounds really cheesy, but there is something sooo cool about watching his brain switch on and start to make connections. I mean, it helps that I think he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, but even still, I think it’s so cool to watch him learn to talk, to jump, to sing, to whistle (ok, maybe not that one yet)! And calling me Momma? That was pretty awesome.

Meeting bloggers. Seriously, all my excitement about every major blogging event was about meeting bloggers I love online. I can only hope I get to do more of that in 2012.

I’ll also say that starting to write more (and connect more) about being a working mom was really, really exciting for me. It really started with this post, but every time I find myself writing about being a working mom, I feel a weight lift and a little bit more of me shine through in this space–and that’s exciting.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Pumped Up Kicks (seriously, how much have I heard that song this year? ) and You’ve Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:?

– happier or sadder?  about the same
– thinner or fatter? thinner
– richer or poorer? poorer (see also: daycare).

16. What do you wish you’d done more of??

In real life: Laughed. Talked. Read. Gone out with my husband. Slept.

In blogland: Written more about publishing like I keep promising. Made more out of Noodle Knobs, which I love and think deserves WAY more than what I’ve been able to give it. Been better about doing more of the things I like and less of the things I feel like I *should* do.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of??

Worried. Snapped. Got frustrated. Yelled. Cared about other people’s opinions. Coveted stuff I can’t have. Watched bad tv.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

With family here in San Diego. Christmas with a toddler is pretty cool actually.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

A lot of my favorites have been kind of lackluster this year, but I admit I’m really like Up All Night, Walking Dead, and I still love the fun silliness of Burn Notice. I’m really hoping that Project Runway All-Stars doesn’t suck as much as this last season did. And can we get Mad Men BACK already?

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

The Hunger Games series. Bossypants. The Art of Fielding.

21. What was your favorite music from this year??

Again, I’m gonna cheat and say pretty much anything from the Sirius Alt Nation station. I also will admit to loving (and hating myself for loving) Moves Like Jagger. I know, I know. You can disown me now.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

The final Harry Potter. Super 8 was pretty fun. Man, we really just didn’t see that many movies this year that weren’t animated…

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32, and my husband and I took the afternoon off to meander around like we had not a care in the world (and no kid in tow). We held hands and had NO agenda, and it was awesome. (we also had drinks and snacks, so it was nice in multiple ways.)

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I think if I could have lightened up on myself, that would have been SUPER. AT work, at home, in finances, in everything…I blamed myself for a lot, which only created this tension in my own head a lot.

And of course, more free time would have been great, as would more money.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Getting there. I’m starting to realize that I’m mostly a pretty classic/safe dresser, but that I love having little surprises–zebra striped sequined flats, a bottle cap belt, feather earrings, etc. I’m hoping to continue to build an actual WARDROBE in 2012.

26. What kept you sane?

My husband (except when he was driving me insane). My kid (except when he made me mental). This blog. Sleep.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.?

Learning to say YES is just as important as learning to say No. You’re much more likely to get a great memory if you say YES occasionally.

(if you made it to the end of this epic beast, you seriously deserve a prize. SHEESH how did this get to almost 1500 words???)

And…we’re back!

Did you have a nice holiday/weekend? I did. Christmas spirit kicked in sometime on Saturday (huh, go figure, after all the t0-dos were tah-dahn), which really helped me to enjoy my time off. We had a good time with family, more presents under the tree than we should have, and a kiddo who thoroughly reveled in the fun of the day. Although why no one advised me it might take 3 hours to open presents with a toddler is beyond me. I would have guessed we’d have ripped through everything in just an hour or so, but no, that kid was slow like molasses. He’d bring me (or N.C.) every gift and say “open dis. Mommy open dis.” Then we’d help him get the paper ripped a little bit before he took over. Every gift he wanted to manhandle and look at (which was great!), so every gift he had took 10-20 minutes. We’d also get stopped every so often for a break for a snack, or milk, or to run around like a little crazy person. It was a ton of fun though, and really made the day awesome to see his wonder and joy at everything we did.

Even the Christmas Eve cat-astrophy didn’t dampen my spirits. See, it was about 10:00 on Christmas Eve and we were starting the process to go to bed. All the gifts had been put out, some of Jackson’s had been set up ready for playing, and all that was left was to fill the stockings and pull out the Santa hat that always gets worn on Christmas morning by whomever is playing Santa (handing out gifts). As I was filling a stocking, I realized there was a pungent, horrible smell…cat pee. If you’ve ever smelled cat pee, you know it’s a particularly horrible smell, and it’s one that can’t be ignored for very long. Turns out, the cat (at some point) had peed on all the stockings and the Santa hat. It was…foul. But instead of stressing out, we just kind of laughed and said “hey, at least we get a story out of it!” We took one hail mary drive around to see if there was ANYWHERE open (at 10:30 on Christmas Eve) that might have a stocking or santa hat, but gave up after 15 minutes. We basically laughed the entire time, then came home, put all the stockings in the washing machine, all the stocking stuff in bags, and said “eh, Merry Christmas anyway!” It was strangely fun (minus the cat pee part. Yuck), and pretty much set the tone for the rest of our little holiday–don’t take it too seriously, and have fun.

So that’s what we did. We enjoyed ourselves, and family, and food. And while I wish I was still on holiday, it was a great long weekend that definitely lived up in terms of laughter and fun and happiness.

From our family to yours, may your holidays be merry, bright, and filled with joy.

And if you’ve got bubbles, so much the better!

I really need to stop being an asshole before Christmas gets here. I mean, the Christmas Asshole isn’t liked by anyone, even by the Grinch.

— rambleginger (@rambleginger) December 20, 2011

I’ve been having a tough time with Christmas spirit. There was the being sick, and the grown-up Christmas decisions, and some general malaise about our finances and how other people have it better and wah-wah-wah. I tried to bake, and it was a disaster. My company gave us the news of no raises for the holidays, and I had some less than nice thoughts about our holiday “events” at work. The day I went out to finish my shopping, I got cut off four times, flipped off two, & run into with three carts (without even an “oops, I’m sorry”). I tried to make candy, and it was an explosive disaster. I even got a stupid freaking cold sore, guaranteed to put me in a FANTASTIC mood.

But then the screwed up cookies tasted pretty good, even if they weren’t nice enough to give as gifts. And the caramel, though not perfect, was giftable (and edible!). The shopping got done, the tree got trimmed, the teachers and school staff got gifts, the secret santa exchanges went off without too many hitches, gifts were donated to a holiday drive, and yet I was left on Monday night still in a bit of funk.

I was being a world class brat. No. As I said on Twitter, I was being the Christmas A**hole. And no one likes that guy.

But between then and now, the holiday joy has started seeping in, making me feel both crummy for my bad attitude and grateful that (however belated), I did finally come into the Christmas spirit. I stopped thinking about what I don’t have, and can’t do, and looked around at how lucky and blessed I am. I looked at the joy in my little guy’s eyes as we drove past lights, and the happiness that just ONE candy coated pretzel brought him. I thought about how excited I am to give him the gifts we’ve chosen for him–how excited I am to see his excitement on Christmas morning. I thought about how many people in this city  alone would smack me for being so ungrateful for all my blessings. I thought about what Christmas really means, and how to let all the rest fall away.

I’m happy to report that the Christmas Ass has left, and has been replaced by someone with actual holiday cheer. I’m feeling festive, and even have some goodwill towards commuters, upper management at my office, and even the twits who ran into me with their shopping carts the other day (some. Not a lot. Just some). I still wish this cough would go away, and this stupid cold sore gets NO love from me, but overall, I’m much less Scroogy than I was just a mere 24 hours ago.

Just in time, because I hear there’s a big holiday coming up soon?