No More First Days

by Ginger on August 14, 2014

in Becoming Myself

The first day of school used to be such an exciting and terrifying time. I loved school supplies, and getting my reading lists, and the promise of what I would learn and who I would meet and what the year would be like. I also hated the first day of school, with the anxiety about whether anyone would talk to me, or be my friend, or where I would sit at lunch (or god forbid, in the classrooms where the teacher didn’t do assigned seating, gah the horrors! Especially the years I moved to new schools). I also had a huge amount of anxiety every year that certain things would be too hard for me, that I wouldn’t understand. The first day of school was always a mix of promise and anxiety, of excitement and fear.

Some years, the first day was rough. I have memories of bus mix ups (oh, the bus years), of sitting by myself at lunch, of unpleasant teachers. Some years it was better–teachers who excited me, finding friends right away, days where everything flowed smooth and easy. I could almost always count on being excited by at least one class or subject to give me at bare minimum one bright spot in my day. Usually the school part was fun though. Seeing what we were going to be learning, getting the feel for the new classroom–look, I loved the learning aspect of school, of *course* this stuff geeked me out.

Now that I’m an adult, I sometimes miss that first day of school feeling. A new job is *sorta* the same, but not really. Nothing, really, seems to be that crazy mix of high and low feelings I used to get every year. The learning, the socializing, the anticipation and the anxiety, all rolled together…nothing is quite like it anymore.

agirlandaboy August 14, 2014 at 9:52 pm

Same. That first-day-of-school feeling was so awesomely unique, and I’m sad I don’t get to have it anymore. I just might be pushing the excitement a little onto my kids in hopes they feel the same and I can live vicariously.

april August 20, 2014 at 5:56 am

I feel the same way vicariously through Spencer – the first day is so much anticipation. I thought of him the whole day yesterday and then needed to know exactly everything that happened (which he didn’t tell me, he focused on PE and lunch, HIS favorite parts). Sometimes I miss school (but also not really. Love/hate)

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