I Used To Think

by Ginger on November 13, 2013

in Becoming Myself

I used to think…no, I used to FEEL that the world was small. That other places existed beyond the edges of my memories and day to day life, but they were miniscule in my mind. The place I inhabited, where my family was, that was what was big and vast and loomed large to me. The world itself, despite its size, was inconsequential in comparison.

As I grew, my view of the world changed. I moved away from home and went to college, and the world grew. I moved to New York, and the world grew. I got involved online, and the world grew. I moved to California, and the world grew. I had a baby, and the world ballooned into this massive, unfathomably large thing. I was no longer a big part of my seemingly big world. I was–I am–a speck in an overwhelming enormous vastness.

Sometimes that is overwhelming. When I think about all the things I’ll never see or do. When I contemplate what mark I might leave. When tragedy strikes in particular, it can be tough to think of the enormity of the world.

But sometimes, it’s also amazing. Awe inspiring, in the truest sense of the word. This world is vast, beyond anything I will ever be able to experience. It is filled with so many amazing people and things and stories and histories. It is insane, but fantastic.

I used to think I was the center of the world, the small, small world. Now I know I’m anything but the center of this massive, giant world. And for all the times that’s overwhelming and tough, there are more times when I know that I like it better this way.

***

Prompt from Bring Back the Words, Week 22

Tara November 13, 2013 at 10:27 pm

I love this! And I had the same experiences with my world expanding as my life did. Well said, Friend.

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