These Words Will Never Be Enough

by Ginger on December 17, 2012

in Random

There are no words and there are so many words. It feels wrong to write about what happened, but it feels equally as wrong to not write about it, because on Friday, the world shifted in a way none of us were prepared for and to acknowledge it or not, either way our world is now tilted and we are left hanging on.

My heart breaks for the families in Connecticut, whose worlds did not just shift but shatter on Friday. My heart breaks for that community, left to put the pieces back together, and that is now the epicenter of national attention that no one ever wants to be a part of. My heart BREAKS for them and my grief with and for them feels impotent and shallow and useless in the face of their new realities.

I have to say this part too: My heart aches with how quickly the horror and grief turned to finger pointing and naysaying. I had to watch social media for work on Friday, to monitor what was happening with my brands, and it was not even noon my time before the words on Twitter and Facebook started to turn. And I know, I KNOW, I am too naive and nice for the internet and the world sometimes, but my God, the speed with which people began to attack was disgusting. And while there are very, VERY important conversations to be having in response to this event, it made me feel despair for humanity that we couldn’t even wait until we knew the death toll before we started using this event to bludgeon those around us with our opinions and anger and hate. I hate that in the middle of tragedy, there are always people who will show you how mean and ugly we as a species can be.

Sigh.

*Shake it off Ginger.*

Because on the flip side, there was true beauty on Friday, and through this weekend. People coming together to help a community they don’t know. People moved to random acts of kindness across the country, as a small way to fight against the horror unfolding. People sending millions of prayers and good thoughts and love and light to those families, those survivors, those first responders. People showing how kind and loving and caring we as a species can be. In a weekend filled with heartbreak and tears, I’m choosing to focus on this group, because to do otherwise breaks my heart in new and horrible ways. I’d rather think of things like this: 26 Moments That Restored Our Faith In Humanity This Year, because I want to think of the good in people, now of all times.

I have lots of thoughts about what happened, thoughts about anxiety and fear and death and parenting and kids and guns and God and teachers and mental illness and the media and society. I have lots of thoughts floating around in my head about MY fears and MY imaginings and MY anxiety and MY horror. Those all seem so out of place as to be laughable. I have lots of thoughts about a lot of things. I don’t know if I’ll ever write about them, because even writing this (which I feel compelled to write though this doesn’t even scratch the surface of what I wish I could say. I am not nearly a good enough writer to say everything I’m feeling here.) feels horribly horribly wrong. But maybe that’s just because the world feels horribly horribly wrong right now.

I feel powerless against this tide of sorrow, but I will lift those families up in my thoughts, and I will focus on the good in this world. I will think of the ways we come together and I will (try to) be the person I want to see in others. And I will grieve those who were lost, but I will not let that grief or the fear that accompanies it make me lose my hope.

Charleen December 17, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Beautifully put.

Lisa December 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Well said, Ginger, as always.

April December 17, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Beautiful. Besides a small blurb I haven’t been able to speak about it. I feel much safer as an ostrich.

Joanne M. December 17, 2012 at 6:41 pm

This is a beautiful post. I’m glad you are choosing to focus on the good. I’m doing the same. I’m sorry that you saw so much negativity surrounding the event. This is one major reason why I cut down my list of Facebook friends so much. The events in Connecticut have helped me to show a little more love than usual to all of the people I care about.

Hugs:-)

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