Curled In The Crook of My Arm

by Ginger on October 10, 2012

in Mom Thoughts, The Kid

The other day, in the wee smalls I lay sleeping. Blissfully, blissfully sleeping.

And then I felt a little hand lightly touch my arm, and I was awake.

I don’t know what time it was. My (still asleep) brain thought that it was morning, as that is how I am awakened every morning. And yet, this was before that typical time-frame. I know it was still dark, and my hunch is that it was somewhere after 1am and somewhere before 5am, but I don’t know for sure. It doesn’t really matter.

I reached over for him, my silent little man who sneaks in on cat paws and always manages to wake me up more gently than you think a 3 year old could. I reached over as he put up his arms, and while I lifted he sorta-kinda-notreally jumped until he was in the bed, and then on my chest. And then with a little sigh, he rolled over next to me, curled into the crook of my arm, and fell back to sleep.

I can count on one hand the number of times Jackson has slept in bed with us. Heck, he rarely even slept on me during grownup waking hours as a baby. Even as a newborn, he wanted–no, NEEDED–personal space to sleep. Even when he’s sick, he usually wants to be in his own bed. It is an extraordinarily rare event for him to sleep on or near anyone else. And while I wouldn’t want it on an ongoing basis if I could help it…

Last night was a lovely, lovely little anomaly.

Even as I drifted back to sleep, I had the thought, “This is pretty awesome.” And when I woke up later, his body curved into my side, I was aware that this was one of those small, minor, inconsequential moments of parenthood that fill your heart up with love and tenderness and heartbreak for how perfect and fleeting it is in its ordinariness. This little being, who once pushed up on my ribs from the other side, is now old enough to walk into my room in the middle of the night, climb into bed, and fall asleep next to me. It’ll only be a nanosecond before he’s too old to want to cuddle in the morning, a heartbeat before he doesn’t want to hug in front of his friends, a small simple intake of breath before he is grown and gone.

And yet, I get moments like this one in a dark room in a cozy bed with the moon filtering in through the curtains and a little boy, tucked into the crook of my arm and around curve of my ribs, sighing a little sigh of contentment as he drifts off to sleep next to me.

Tragic Sandwich October 10, 2012 at 9:02 am

Baguette sleeps with us. And that means that often our nights are filled with kicks, punches, and getting pushed to the edge of (if not out of) the bed. And yet this is the system that gets everyone the most sleep possible right now.

But for all of the activity involved in getting her to go to sleep, and while she sleeps, in the morning she is still and snuggly, and we know exactly why we do this.

Erica October 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm

This is why I let Anna sleep with us on and off. She’s too big now but it was so sweet.

Keely October 10, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Sigh. Truth. One of the best experienceable moments known to (wo)man. Yes, experienceable.

Marlena October 11, 2012 at 7:44 am

I have a similar kid – she always liked to snuggle, but never wanted to share the bed. So the few times she has come to bed, I relish it.

Joanne October 11, 2012 at 6:12 pm

What a touching post, even to this non-parent!

Michelle October 12, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I love those snuggly little moments, and shamelessly steal them whenever I can.

BabyBumpBeyond Heather October 12, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Beautiful post! I love all the cuddly moments I get with both my kiddos.

Maggie May October 12, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Those are the moments to live for 🙂

Mama Mary October 14, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Oh how sweet! I love these little moments in motherhood. My 4 yo has been crawling into bed with me in the middle of the night and saying, “mom, can you cuddle wiff me?” I die. Just so precious and wonderful.

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