So I don’t think I told you guys that N.C. & Jackson were in a fender bender a couple of weeks ago did I?
No, I didn’t think so.
They’re fine, but the car had some fairly annoying damage, so it’s been in the shop for a couple of weeks, which means that we’ve had a rental car. (And more than one reminder of how much only having one car can suck.) And the thing is, EVERY SINGLE TIME Jackson sees the car, he walks to the front bumper and says “Car had a big owie. Big bump. Had to take to the docker. It’s all better!”
And EVERY SINGLE TIME we drive past the spot that they had the accident, Jackson says “We had a BIG BUMP. Big bump. Daddy outside. Car had an owie.” (Daddy outside refers to when N.C. had to get out of the car to get the info from the other drivers. Yes, multiple).
Clearly, nothing is wrong with the child’s memory on something that made an impression (even though he can’t seem to remember instructions I gave him 30 seconds ago). It’s like the kid has a running video camera that auto replays those moments. On a loop. Every day. Multiple times a day.
Things at work have been…wacky. Let’s just say that being a manager isn’t always fun and games, and the last few weeks have proven that.
If it wasn’t work, I’d make the following drinking game:
Take a swig every time my boss says “can you come in my office? And close the door?”
Take 2 swigs every time I have to explain why marketing can’t do (insert ridiculous thing that is not our job)
Let my staff take a swig every time I have to explain to other people why they can’t tell my staff to do X,Y, or Z
Take a swig every time I have to explain, AGAIN, why people need to keep to the deadlines we’ve given them.
Take a swig every time I have to talk to HR. Then another when I have to talk to them again about the exact same thing the next day.
Take 3 swigs every time I have to deal with complaints from other departments.
Finish the whole drink every time an author is crazy.
Related: Guys, if you ever write a book, PLEASE don’t be a crazy author. No, I cannot MAKE Oprah pick your (non-fiction, reference) book for her book club. No, I cannot do anything about what Amazon reviews say. No, I cannot send you on an 18 city tour for your book that will probably only sell 1500 copies. No, I can’t force a store into taking your book, nor can I force them into letting you do a signing. Just…if you write a book, please take the time to learn a little bit about how the industry actually works and then try TRY to have at least somewhat realistic requests. Ok? Promise me?
So, ah, just curious here:
HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KEEP A TODDLER IN BED AT BEDTIME? Ahem. I don’t mean to yell, but it’s getting ridiculous. Last night, he got up 5 times. And what he does is he sneaks out of his bedroom super quiet, and then he sneaks up the stairs super quiet, and then he sits on the stairs super quiet until it gets to be too much for him and he sneaks all the way up stairs & into the living room. This process, if we don’t stop it in the middle, can take 30 minutes. And then when he sees us, and we say “Jackson, go back to bed,” his typical answer? “But I needa kiss!” Last night, he upped the cute ante by coming over to me and saying, “But you needa be my best fwend mommy.”
Yeah, yeah, ADORABLE. But not when bedtime now takes 2.5 hours and multiple trips up and down the stairs!
I knew we shouldn’t have taken the safety doorknob cover off his door.
I’ve been having a bit of blogging block lately. It’s a little bit “I feel like I can’t talk about a bunch of stuff” and a little bit “why am I bothering, I’m not saying anything remarkable anyway” and a little bit of “omg, I am boring MYSELF” and a little bit of “I’m kinda tired, I think I’d rather just watch Friends With Benefits (the one with Timberlake) again.” Oh and of course there’s a little bit of “omg the child doesn’t go to sleep until 10 pm now, when am I going to write?” Although that one’s not so much about block as it is logistics, so nevermind.
Anyway, to try and get myself out of it, I’m going to make the commitment to write every day next week—for me, writing every day usually helps me get back into the muscle memory of writing (duh, who’d of thunk it?), so I’m giving myself this little mini challenge. Let’s call it a Mid-Summer Reboot if you will.
So, yeah, see you every day next week!
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