That whole 2012 To-Do List?
Yeah, that’s not going so well.
Mostly in the things that were in the vein of “do thing x a certain amount/by a certain date.” Because, in looking back, HOLY CRAP was I ambitious on some of those. I mean, REALLY Ginger? There are like 12 items on there that have a weekly or monthly timeline. I must have been insane.
But I’m trying to get better about saying, “This self-imposed thing with this self-imposed deadline isn’t as important as X.” Because part of what I’m learning is that I’m way harder on myself than anyone else (learning? yeah, ok, fine, reinforcing). So I’m trying to get better about accepting that it’s not going to happen and move on.
Especially when I put it up for the whole world to read.
BUT. NO MATTER.
I’m not a failure because I wasn’t able to write in a journal every day. Or because I’m not cutting it with a weekly vegetarian meal. Or, really anything. Because sometimes there are more important things that come along in life than an arbitrary list of things you created on an arbitrary day some point in the past. Things like getting better or more centered or all around more at peace. And that to-do list? Sometimes that’s the opposite of peace for me.
That’s not to say that I’m completely abandoning my list. But I am trying to think about how to remove the guilt of not accomplishing some of those items so that I can move forward to the ones I CAN accomplish (50 books this year, I’m coming for you). I’m trying to look at it as a growth opportunity instead of a “failure.” And in reframing the way I look at it, I’m hoping I can embrace the parts I CAN do.
There’s nothing wrong with setting personal goals and milestones. But there is something wrong when you berate yourself for not making them.
And I’m trying to stop being my own worst critic. (Maybe that should be on the to-do list).
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