In my head, I want to be the kind of mom who does crafts and creates fun little traditions and marks every milestone in some special way. But in my heart, that’s not me. I’m not that mom.
In my head, I want to be the wife who is suzy homemaker, cleaning, cooking, baking so that our house is always filled with fresh linens, clean floors and the smell of baking cookies. But in my heart, that’s not me. I’m not that wife.
In my head, I want to be the career woman who does business lunches and networking events with ease, who climbs the ladder with ease and smashes the glass ceilings on her way. But in my heart, that’s not me. I’m not that career woman.
In my head, I want to be that friend that everyone calls on, who is perfect at remembering birthdays and anniversaries, and who calls “for no reason.” But in my heart, that’s not me. I’m not that friend.
In my head, I want to be lots of things. I want to be the image of things I have always seen, and admired, and seen other people admire. But in my heart…well, that’s the real me. I’m a horrible homemaker. I’m the opposite of crafty. I’m bad at remembering birthdays. I’m not climbing anything (but the walls) with ease these days.
But I am a great mom, even if I’m a little more “oh shoot, WHEN is Easter?” than “oh look at my fabulous Easter decorations that we created and decorated with months ago.”
I’m a loving wife, even if I’m more “eh it’s clean enough” than I am “honey, I spent the day scrubbing the floors.”
I’m a good employee, even if I’m more “I come in and do my job–well–and then go home” than I am “whatever it takes to make it to the top.”
I love my friends, even if I’m more “oh shit, I totally forgot to mail your birthday card” than I am “6 months from now is your birthday, let’s plan it now!”
Sometimes I need to shut the images in my head off. I can’t live up to them all. Sometimes I need to work more on getting closer to living up to them. Sometimes I need to let them go. Sometimes I need to recognize that I need to be the wife, mom, friend, employee that I am…not some magical mythical one in my head. Sometimes I need to realize that while I can always use work–the me that IS is a pretty damn good starting point.No tags for this post.