I’m calling uncle

by Ginger on November 11, 2010

in Becoming Myself

I hate being wrong. I hate giving up on something. I hate when I fail myself.

And yet.

I’m officially calling uncle over here.

4.5 months after I announced it, I’m throwing in the towel. (Sorta.)

If you’ve been around here long, you know I kinda have a lot going on. I’ve got my full-time, 40-hour a week (plus f@#*%ng commute). I’ve got RambleRamble. I’ve got The Essentials. I’ve got Noodle Knobs. I’ve got N.C.’s business (I try to help him market his art/design/illustration). Oh yeah, and I’ve got a toddler who I want to spend as much time as possible with.

And then I’ve got this freelance business I’ve been working on. You guys haven’t seen so much of that (with the exception of the couple of you I’ve been working with), but it’s been there. I’ve been working on a website, pricing, and plans. I’ve done several proposals, and a few implementations, for “beta” clients. I’ve got a name, a logo, and even a twitter account.

But I just can’t seem to get it off the ground. I can’t seem to find the energy that a TRUE freelance business takes right now. And every way I can think of to really get it going, really and truly, means taking time away from my family–or more from my sleep, and since my bedtime already hovers around midnight-1am, I’m not sure how realistic that is.

Admittedly, I could lose some of the blogs. I could free up some time there. But even losing the blogs doesn’t create enough extra time to *REALLY* make a freelance business run full bore. And after taking a good, hard look at all my responsibilities, and all my time, and all my needs/wants/shoulds (and after a really frank discussion with my husband {I *hate* when he’s right about me not doing something}), this is the thing that needs to go.

So I’m stopping work on the website. I’m letting go of the hosting I’ve been paying for. I’m putting away the reams of paper (actual and digital) that I’ve used up on pricing structures, bios, and sample work.

But.

I will still be finishing up any projects I had already started. And, I’ll also be open to taking on projects on a case by case basis–I’ll probably add a brief line to my About Me page here to that effect, and of course, if any of you have marketing projects you get first dibs on my time!–I just won’t be working to “launch” as a full-fledged business.

I hate giving in, but something had to go.

This is that something. I call uncle.

Elizabeth November 11, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Sometimes you just have to know when to let go. I’m glad you’re able to let this go for now so you can focus on everything else.

clara November 11, 2010 at 8:10 pm

Wow, you really have a lot on the go! I know what you mean about giving up, but frankly I’m amazed you do as much as you do. You are wise to know when to say ‘enough’.

Megan November 11, 2010 at 8:52 pm

You definitely needed to give *something* up, and it sounds like this will free up a lot of time. You need to take care of yourself. You know how in awe I am of you and all you do. Even without this endeavor, you still do, like, twenty times what I do. So, I will continue to ponder how the hell you do it all. 🙂

Ally November 12, 2010 at 5:36 am

Don’t feel bad about this – like the others have said it’s so important to recognize when you need to let go of something. And this certainly doesn’t mean you can’t make it work in the future! Everything happens for a reason, right?

Cherie Beyond November 12, 2010 at 9:48 am

I completely understand this. I had to accept recently that no matter how much I might like to grow my freelance career, right now I just CAN’T. It’s going to have to wait. Luckily, there is time. And if it turns out there isn’t time, then I’ll be glad that I placed my priorities where I did, when I did.

Make sense?

kate November 15, 2010 at 12:00 pm

It’s hard to throw in the towel and holler “uncle” – but the relief of not feeling pulled in umpteen directions and forced to choose between family/sleep/free time is huge. Good job on being able to recognize the time to shelf it and say “enough”.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: