On the hard days

by Ginger on November 9, 2010

in Mom Thoughts, Working Mom

Some days, the hardest thing I do all day is walk out the door as my kid cries for me. Some days, not all but some, the worst part of my day is hearing his cries echo in my ears as I close the door behind me. I leave him in capable hands–N.C. is a wonderful dad, and Jackson has a great time with him–but some days crossing that threshold, closing the door and walking to my car requires all my strength. But go I must if we want to do things like, you know, eat, so I steel myself, plug my ears, and walk.

On those days, I pull out my little secret weapon, my little talisman, to help me through the hard part.

Behold, a crappy photo

This is my J necklace. I don’t wear it every day, or even most days. But sometimes, on the days when walking away hurt more than usual, or when I’m missing the kid more than normal, or when I just need an extra smile, I wear it. Most of the time, I wear it with the J turned to face me (the back is just a silver disc). It’s a simple necklace–a typewriter key turned pendant that I found on Etsy (and N.C. bought me for my birthday)–but it’s absolutely perfect. It’s the perfect length chain, and because of the slight indentation of the key, it’s perfect to grab and worry for a minute.

I used to think it was silly, having a “mother’s necklace” or whatever they’re called. I mean, Jackson’s always in my thoughts, I don’t need a reminder of him right? But sometimes, on those days that are hard, having a physical stand in for the little man waiting for me at home is not only helpful, it’s necessary. For whatever reason it helps. For whatever reason, it makes those hard days…a little less so.

Becca November 9, 2010 at 1:08 pm

I think that’s a lovely idea. I can’t imagine how tough it is going out and leaving little one behind, but you’re doing a great thing. xx

Megan November 9, 2010 at 1:12 pm

It is very admirable for you and every working parent to cross that threshold. I know it must be very hard, but you do what you have to do for your family. There is a very real possibility that Chris will have to switch to the day shift in the next few months, and I know it will be really hard on him to not see Charlotte all day. It’s partially why he is so hesitant to move up in his field. But, he’ll do it because it is what’s best for our family.

I love the necklace! What a great idea. 🙂

Alison Golden November 9, 2010 at 1:14 pm

Yes, that’s tough. I didn’t have to leave him regularly but I had one like that. Taking something off me and giving it to him calmed my son like having something of his worked for me.

Erin November 9, 2010 at 2:05 pm

What a sweet idea. I have no idea how I am going to walk away while my girls are crying. I mean, I left them in the hospital for weeks, but I didn’t have a choice. Even though I don’t really have a choice about going back to work, it still feels like I’m leaving them on purpose.

clara November 9, 2010 at 2:53 pm

I can picture it. What a great idea..after all you carry the baby for 9 months and hold him for months afterward.

Elizabeth November 9, 2010 at 7:35 pm

I don’t think it is silly at all! I’m sure the transition from being at home full time to working is gut wrenching, and having something you can touch when you need to is priceless.

Perpetua November 10, 2010 at 6:53 am

I think it’s so lovely, having that physical reminder. Like Clara said, we carry them around with us for months and months. It’s hard to just go from something to nothing every day, especially since our kids are still in the mostly physical (holding, nursing, running around) instead of mental (talking on the phone, emailing at work) phase.

The Sweetest November 10, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Love that necklace. It IS the perfect length- I would wear it every day!

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