The weird idea of reciprocation

by Ginger on August 17, 2010

in Blogging & Social Media

There’s this blogger I read. I’ve read her stuff for many years–love her style, her smarts, her wit, and her writing. I comment, I read, I interact.

I’m fairly sure she doesn’t like me.

I don’t know what it is–I don’t know if I’m not witty, funny, smart enough, or if she just has her people and doesn’t want anymore, or if she just thinks we don’t mesh.  But I’m almost positive that she’s not that big on me. Not that she’s been mean, or nasty (nor do I think she would be), more…disinterested. It’s a vibe I get.

Here’s the thing though, where maybe I’m weird.

I don’t care.

Unless and until she says something to me, I’ll continue to read her stuff, comment, interact. And it seems, from my readings around the web, that I may be a weirdo for that…for not “unfollowing” or blocking her or dropping her feed like a hot potato.

But her not caring for me doesn’t diminish my enjoyment of her material. Her not interacting with me doesn’t negate my interest or ability to comment to her. (Of course, I’m not like this in real life. If I were at a function with this blogger, I wouldn’t go up to her and try and start a conversation, given the vibe I get from her. I’m not the kind of person that can take that IN PERSON. But apparently online, I can.)

I know we talk all about community and connections in the world of blogging. And honestly, those are AWESOME. I love that I’ve “met” so many interesting, thoughtful and engaged people through my blog. You all, who connect with me, are amazing and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. But the reality of it is that blogging isn’t a 1 to 1 ratio all the time. I read “big” bloggers who never comment to anyone. I read small bloggers who only comment to their friends. I follow people on Twitter who don’t follow me back.  And I apparently read bloggers even when I think they don’t like me–because the content/entertainment/enjoyment of their material trumps that personal issue.

So am I weird folks? Would you keep reading someone you thought wouldn’t miss you if you were gone? Do you read/follow people that don’t reciprocate?

(ETA: I wanted to clarify one little thing–the blogger I think doesn’t like me: I know she reads me sporadically at best. My vibe is more from when I comment on HER stuff–how she responds to me in her own space. The rest of the discussion remains, but I wanted to clarify that point.)

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{ 54 comments… read them below or add one }

Erin August 17, 2010 at 1:11 pm

I’ve tried to read everybody that reads me, and I just can’t. (I totally don’t mean that to come off sounding like I’m some awesome, huge, amazing blogger.) Still, I definitely appreciate everyone who reads my blog, and I make it a point to respond to (almost) all the comments I receive on my blog.

I also read several people who don’t read me back. I enjoy them, and it doesn’t really bother me that they probably don’t know who I am. I think it’s just the nature of the blogger beast.

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 3:34 pm

You make a concerted effort to respond to comments though, so you’re at least engaging!

I do agree that it’s the nature of the beast–particularly when you start reading wildly across genres (like I do). Glad to know I’m not totally alone in not being bothered!

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Ali @PickleSugarPlum August 17, 2010 at 1:22 pm

Being a “small time” blogger, I understand that most of the people I follow, subscribe to, comment on, follow on twitter, facebook…pretty much everyone…most of them don’t read my blog. It’s a fact of life. Something will come up at an event, and I can pretty much TELL if someone has read my blog, by how LITTLE they know of me. While it hurts my feelings in a teeny tiny way, to know that they didn’t care to know more about me, I also know that I can’t possibly read all of the blogs that I follow, or that follow me. I usually pick out what to read by way of suggestions made by other friends, via twitter or facebook, or SOMETIMES, simply by linking through another friend’s blog post.

While it would be easy to take offense, and make it personal, I try to look at it from a more “business” perspective, because, in the end, no matter how personal it is, it’s STILL a form of business.

If you feel a vibe upon MEETING the person, maybe it’s something you should address, but unless you “GET THAT FEELING” when you meet them, then it’s probably a little hint of paranoia and insecurity. (Nothing personal…I have the same dilemma rather frequently! SHHH!)

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 3:37 pm

I read really widely (my feed reader is bursting, and Twitter may be my downfall!), so I KNOW that not everyone I read reads me–or my traffic would be WAY higher 🙂 That doesn’t bother me, really at all–though there are times when someone writes something that is just so *ME* that I’m like “hey, we were obviously separated at birth, so you should read me!!” They rarely do though.
It’s weird because I hold no harsh feelings about this blogger, one way or the other. If she doesn’t like me, whatever, as long as she keeps cranking out good material for me to read.

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Devan @ Accustomed Chaos August 17, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Tough one… I think the PC version of me would say that i dont mind. but honestly i do- i dont like to feel ignored or “not as important” – but i can also get the fact that ppl are busy & cant always make everyone feel like peaches. tough one…

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 3:39 pm

See, that’s how you would think I would feel if you knew me in real life–I hate feeling “little”. But for some reason it doesn’t hurt as much in blogland, maybe because I know how much effort it takes. I think it’s totally normal though to get your feelings hurt, particularly when you’re making the effort to connect!

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bekah August 17, 2010 at 1:36 pm

I follow a LOT of blogs that have probably, definitely, never even seen my name before. For instance…have ever even commented here before? But I have had you in my reader for a really long time.

Maybe she is just really busy?

I have definitely come across blogs that I have tried really hard to read, because they comment on mine, but I just cant find ANY common ground you know? So anything I say ends up sounding fake, so I dont say anything at all even though they comment on my stuff…maybe she is having that type problem? I dont know.

Unless someone were to straight up say “Hey go away” if it were a blog I liked, Id totally keep reading!

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 3:55 pm

You have commented here once upon a time! I’m glad you’re commenting again (and I’ve already hit your blog up again–you have a cutie over there).

Yeah, if she straight up says go away, I would (well, I might keep reading in my reader, if I’m honest, but I’d stop commenting). The main thing is that my feelings about her aren’t so much about her reading or not reading my blog, but about how she responds to me on hers. But then, like I said, it doesn’t really stop me!

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Lisa August 17, 2010 at 1:36 pm

I read people that don’t follow me and it usually doesn’t bother me. The one time this frustrates me is if the people are local to me. I’ve found bloggers that I feel like I have a lot in common with, they live in the same city, and I’ve tried to reach out via blog or Twitter. I admit that I’m disappointed when those people don’t respond. I don’t expect them to love my blog, but a follow back on Twitter or a reply to an email would be nice.

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Oh, the locals are a little different. Because there’s always that twinge of “hey maybe we could be friends outside of the little glowy box”…that stings a little more for sure!

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Perpetua August 17, 2010 at 1:57 pm

I read/follow a LOT of people who don’t reciprocate, and I only get annoyed or offended if it’s clear that the person never ever ever bothered to read me even once. I completely understand that it’s hard to keep up with the entire blogging world, but I guess I expect at least a one-time “courtesy wave.”

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Yeah, I must say, I do tend to look through my analytics for even that 1 direct link from a site I’ve commented on. Even if they don’t comment, it’s nice to know they took the time to click through and at least see who you are!

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Lizzie August 17, 2010 at 2:48 pm

I know exactly what you mean – there is a blog I read and I’m really interested in what they have to say, and often comment, but the replies are get are quite patronising. In all honesty she intimidates me and makes me feel like my thoughts are stupid. She’s not mean or nasty, it’s just the way she comes across. But I still read her blog and comment, and just ignore the responses. If I want to participate in a discussion I will even if I get a strange response from her.

As a small time blogger I appreciate commenters and even if I don’t reply to them all the time I do TRY to. Heck, I’ve got a huge backlog of comments to return in my inbox, but I’ll get round to it eventually… it’s important. And in the real world, if someone says something to you and you ignore it… it’s rude!! Just a small thanks would suffice, even if it’s just small.

Having said that I don’t do the whole, “if you follow me, I’ll follow you” ’cause that’s not how it works in my book – that’s just fake, and what’s the point? I’ll follow who I like, and if you don’t like my blog (but I follow yours) I won’t take offense if you don’t follow me. We all have different likes and needs and wants at the end of the day 🙂

Very good post btw – great for discussion!!

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Yes! That response exactly! It’s the way she comes across in the discussion! (sorry for the !, but you nailed what I’m feeling! There I go again.)

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Lizzie August 18, 2010 at 12:07 am

Maybe we’re talking about the same person haha 😉

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Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist August 17, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Interesting post. At first blush, I am with you. If you enjoy reading something/someone who really cares whether this person likes you back. I mean, it’s not like Philip Roth likes me… But I tend to get hurt feelings and I know that sometimes I feel ignored by bloggers. So if I actually felt like someone disliked me? I’m not sure I could keep hanging around.

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 4:14 pm

I totally get the hurt feelings thing. Maybe it depends on the blogger/situation? I can’t say for sure that I wouldn’t feel hurt if it was other bloggers I read and connect with, so maybe it’s a fluke with this one? Because it’s totally normal to not want to hang around where you’re not wanted!

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Hilly August 17, 2010 at 2:59 pm

This is a really good topic for discussion!

I have been in both sets of shoes and I am not sure if either of them bothers me that much either. My biggest problem NOW is that people still expect the same level of interaction from me that they used to get when quite simply, I am just not online that much anymore. I went through a ton of personal stuff, some internet drama related and some personal drama related and because of that, I scaled back who I am on my blog. Many many people took offense to me sayng that the net wasn’t a big deal in my life anymore when honestly, they should have been happy that I am out there living.

Long story short…when I don’t comment back to someone, it is not because of a lack of interest rather that I just either don’t have the time or don’t know what to say. I’m aware that maybe I am an exception to the rule though. Oooh Oooh, also, I rarely read blogs at all anymore so if I comment, it’s with something meaningful, not just a “you rock” comment unless, you know, I really really really think someone rocks.

Back in my “heavy duty” blogging days, I would comment over and over and over again on people’s posts and if they would not give me the time of day, I stopped reading their crap, haha. Nowadays, I am making it about the experience of enjoying the writer or silently rooting for the person whose blog I am reading. I don’t need them to reciprocate and many of them just don’t.

In my little humble opinion, it’s not about me. If they don’t comment or reply to mine the way I want them to, it is about them. Maybe they don’t like me and that’s crap cause they don’t KNOW me. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they aren’t comment whores. I dunno, I just don’t want to take anyone’s burden on to MY shoulders.

Wow, I sure am glad I have a week off so I could read this though!

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 4:18 pm

“In my little humble opinion, it’s not about me. If they don’t comment or reply to mine the way I want them to, it is about them. Maybe they don’t like me and that’s crap cause they don’t KNOW me. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they aren’t comment whores. I dunno, I just don’t want to take anyone’s burden on to MY shoulders.”

I think this is a great way to put what I was trying to say! That doesn’t mean it can’t be hard not to take it personally, but why let the reactions of others on a BLOG get to us if we can help it(of course, I’m not talking outright meanness or nastiness. That’s another story entirely)?

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http://autofinanzierungz.pw/ August 30, 2017 at 5:39 pm

some would argue that Jesus, the Buddha, and President Obama are exceptions)Well, just for starters, it is open to some debate just how well Jesus lives up to his own personal religious rhetoric about loving one’s enemies isn’t it?

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clara August 17, 2010 at 3:03 pm

I wouldn’t stop reading someone but I would probably stop interacting via comments. Just as I don’t keep talking if I know somebody has stopped listening and is thinking about her lunch..I don’t like leaving comments that go unacknowledged – not each and every comment treated like precious doo doo from heaven, but like Perpetua says, a courtesy wave. Something that says thanks, I see you, or the like.

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 4:23 pm

I don’t know why I keep commenting, actually. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment (or maybe I just like to hear myself talk). Because I agree, I wouldn’t do it in real life, so why do it online?

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Tracy Lynn August 17, 2010 at 3:10 pm

I read lots of people who don’t know me. I don’t always comment, but then I don’t really care of people comment at my place. I try to reply to people who do comment, but I am not very good at it unless I really have something to say.

Pretty sure that I am a weirdo, though.

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 4:27 pm

So as someone who doesn’t comment often, when you do comment do you expect to have your comment addressed? Not in a comment back at your place, but within the blog you were reading?

Or I guess a more accurate question to my point is–if you did get a response, would you be more likely to comment on that blog again if you got a real interaction, a sense of being heard? Or if you thought your comment was just being addressed as part of the routine for that blogger? (did that even make sense?)

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Stella August 17, 2010 at 3:27 pm

I think it’s important to remember why we started blogging. To get the garbage off our chests, to focus our craft, to sharpen our skills. The rest… is ego taking over and we could all do with a little less of that.

Far be it for me to claim to have all the answers or to pretend that “I am just so above that crap” because truth is, we’re human, we want to feel like we belong, we want to feel a kinship, we… want.

If you enjoy this person’s writing then enjoy it for what it is not for the person who is behind it. We all know we see characters on television and movies and the actors portraying these people are rarely as wonderful (or evil!) in real life. Blogs, regardless of any claims of honesty and transparency, are still only a facet of the human being behind them.

I read lots of people I don’t comment on. I’m not nearly as avid about it as I used to be. I rarely comment anywhere anymore – even on my beloved Hilly’s blog. 😉 Lots of people I know and love read my blog regularly and don’t comment. Meh. It’s all good. Just take the good and drop the bad and move on. It’s never a reflection of YOU it’s only a reflection of them.

Peace.

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 4:40 pm

You know, in general this statement you made

“Just take the good and drop the bad and move on. It’s never a reflection of YOU it’s only a reflection of them”

could do a whole lot to make the world a better place–not just blogs!

I do think that it’s interesting how much we allow the online world to hurt our feelings. I’m guilty of it in many ways, but apparently not this one. Because I DO enjoy the writing, even if I don’t enjoy the person (or the person’s reaction to me, more specifically). Making that distinction can be tough sometimes though when feelings get involved!

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Kathleen (amoment2think) August 17, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Interesting discussion! I think the ‘social etiquette’ of the blogosphere is particularly interesting because you really can’t always tell what someone else thinks. ‘They’ say that the majority of communication is via tone, inflection and body language- essentially non verbal signals. The internet doesn’t really have that, unless you count CAPS and italics, which not everyone uses the same way or at all. I guess what I am saying is that it is possible that the vibe you are getting is not the vibe this blogger intends to send out.

But, assuming the vibe is coming through loud and clear… I don’t know. When I comment on a blog I don’t really have an expectations for a response unless I have asked a specific question. I don’t really get bothered by who doesn’t follow me and I don’t look at stats beyond the totally number of hits a day. Sometimes I look at where those hits come from, but rarely. But I think that if I got the vibe that you feel you are getting I would probably feel bothered by it. Being ignored isn’t the same as being responded to in an odd way. But as long as it doesn’t upset you that much, I would say keep reading and commenting. Why not?

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 4:44 pm

I haven’t closed the door on the possibility that I’m reading the vibe wrong–this blogger has a particular way about her and maybe I’m just misinterpreting. I don’t think so, but I’m not 100% sure. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t bother me as much? Because I have left that possibility there?

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Joelle August 17, 2010 at 5:24 pm

Totally not weird. In fact, I get what you mean. She may not like you, she nay be ambivalent, she may be popular enough that she glosses over a lot of people.

The bottom line is you enjoy her, for now. That’s all that matters.

Now, if she’s out n’ out rude to you, let me know. I know a guy. 😉

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 9:20 pm

Yay, I’m not weird! (well, I’m weird, but not about this 🙂 )

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Alias Mother August 17, 2010 at 6:26 pm

There is a blogger I read who doesn’t like me, at least that’s the impression I get. I keep reading, but I stopped commenting. In fact, I made a vow a few months ago to stop commenting where I don’t get any energy back. I’ve got to get back to that, because I do get hurt if I keep commenting and it is just repeatedly ignored.* I seem to mind less if I’m just reading. I feel…less invested/rejected that way?

*I should note that I don’t expect a return comment every time, but once in a while a response would be appreciated.

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Ginger August 17, 2010 at 9:22 pm

There does seem to be less investment if you don’t comment. If I ever start to get bothered by this blogger, that’s going to be my strategy–keep reading, but stop commenting.
It does suck to be ignored, there’s no doubt about it!

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Brooke August 17, 2010 at 9:44 pm

I get what you are saying. I think that the comments are a place for discussion, and when the author of the blog isn’t engaged in that discussion (or is only engaged in a portion of it), it can be off-putting. I think this is even truer for those who have more traffic because it makes those who are new to the blog or smaller bloggers feel that their presence is unwanted or unappreciated. And if a blogger feels that way, they might want to reconsider their outlet.

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Ginger August 18, 2010 at 10:46 am

It’s one thing entirely if you can tell from a blog that the comments aren’t a “thing”–and you can tell!–but if it is a place for discussion and interaction, then it absolutely can be off-putting. I’ve run into that with new (to me) blogs, where I got a weird feeling from the comments which made me not bother commenting.
And now I’m hoping I’ve not done that to other people…

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Rachel @ MWF Seeking BFF August 17, 2010 at 10:04 pm

This is so interesting to me. I comment on blogs I read when I am moved to do so, and rarely expect a response. If I ask a specific question I might check to see if there is a response on the blog, but usually I don’t even look to see if I’ve been acknowledged. I think of blogs as I do anything else I read. I read for the satisfaction of reading good writing, not in an attempt to get acknowledged. When I do, it’s exciting, but when I don’t I don’t think twice about it. The purpose of reading others, for me at least, isn’t to get a pat on the back but to expose myself to lots of varied approaches. I know that blogging is a different beast, that engagement is more expected than it is in a book or a newspaper article (obviously), but it’s not always possible. With my own blog–and I don’t get all that many comments–I try to always respond to and thank the first-time commenters. After that I respond to comments as I see fit. If there is a question or something that warrants a response, I do. When someone says “I agree,” I don’t really know what to say to that. Many times the things I write on other people’s blogs equally do not warrant responses. Also, sometimes I am so swamped with work and classes and more work that I don’t have time to respond as immediately as I would like. Given that that’s the case for me, I usually assume it’s similar for other bloggers. So if they respond, great. But response isn’t the requirement for me to read them–good writing is.

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Ginger August 18, 2010 at 10:50 am

Oh, absolutely I agree that not every comment has a response! If there’s nothing to say, there’s nothing to say, and trying to force a response to a comment can feel as awkward as not responding.
(and now the word response looks funny to me.)

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KT August 18, 2010 at 8:09 am

I read people that don’t follow me back. I read them because I am interested in what they have to say, not because I want more people to read my blog.

However there are a few people where I do comment a lot, but have never had even a response or a comment on my blog to let me know that they know that I am alive. Oh well.

Maybe the blog is hosted on Blogger? I find it hard to respond to comments with Blogger. If I don’t know the commenter’s email address then I can’t respond via email. And I don’t personally go back to see if the blogger has responded to my comment….I don’t think others do either.

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Ginger August 18, 2010 at 10:54 am

Oooh, you bring up a great point about Blogger (curse you Blogger!). Commenting, responding and discussion on Blogger blogs are so much more difficult. It’s like they purposefully make it almost impossible to create the community that can happen in the comments section! I do tend to give a lot more leeway with Blogger blogs, because I know there’s not the same options as with other blogging platforms.

As an aside, I’ve been meaning to ask someone with a Blogger blog a few questions about this exact thing–do you mind if I hit you up with a few?

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Brooke August 18, 2010 at 7:30 pm

This is interesting to know about blogger comments. I have most everything ready to make the Wordpress switch, but I’m having a hard time letting go. I have a precious 42 followers. I like that little sidebar addition 😉

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Kate August 18, 2010 at 2:25 pm

I just got done perusing your comments on this post – and I think that it is cute that you have responded to each comment. I say read the b*^$%’s blog if you like her stuff. Who cares if she doesn’t respond? I wouldn’t take it personally – maybe responding just isn’t her thing. I personally like when people respond because it gives the blog and the content a little more personality and relatedness. But, maybe that doesn’t float everybody’s boat. I always feel a little snotty or stuck-up if I don’t respond to comments people make on my giveaways – but it messes with the entry #’s and such… It seems cruddy because people say wonderful things sometimes…

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Ginger August 18, 2010 at 2:47 pm

I definitely don’t always respond to every comment, but I asked for discussion, so I feel like I need to contribute too–plus, everyone had such great thoughts!

On giveaways, I would think it would be really difficult–I think most people would understand that and not think you’re being stuck up or snotty!

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Susan Tiner August 18, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Hi Ginger,
This is my first visit and I really like this post. It does seem best to not take anything personally in the bloggysphere.

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CP August 18, 2010 at 11:10 pm

I. LOVE. THIS.

What a mature attitude you have! Seriously. To read or not to read? Never let comment reciprocation make that a question. I am no longer friends with a certain blogger (are they here? do they read you? omg…am I totally giving this away?? *shifty eyes*) but I loved their material (please note lack of gender specifics so I can remain shady) and on occasion still do read them because I find them to be interesting…when they are not being an assh*le that is. I really respect your attitude on this! Good for you! I’m a fan!!

Oh, and don’t bother replying to this. I won’t answer you. LMAO *kidding*

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Ginger August 19, 2010 at 9:27 pm

Don’t worry, if they show up, I’ll hide you in the bathroom–they’ll never know!

😉

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Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks August 19, 2010 at 8:52 am

Wow, this post sure brought the commenters out of the woodwork. =)

I think the beautiful thing about blogging is we make it what we want to be. And each blogger has a slightly different approach to blogging. I used to want to interact with every blog I read. And I wanted those bloggers to interact with me on my blog. Now? It’s totally different.

I write and love interacting with anyone who comments. But, I don’t always read their blogs. Also, the blogs I do read on a regular basis? I don’t comment on every blog post. I’ve moved away from the “You’re Great” comments. Instead, I want there to be substance to what I say. And sometimes, blogs are fun to read, but just not worth commenting, for me. In the same breath, I know there are people who read my blog and never comment. And I’ve learned to be OK with their passive approach to my blog. To each their own!

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Ginger August 19, 2010 at 9:42 pm

I know, it’s like commenter heaven over here!

I definitely agree that not every blog is for commenting on. I read a LOT of blogs–but probably only comment on about 1/3 of them, for various reasons. I don’t feel upset when people don’t comment on my blog either–I know more people read than comment, and that’s cool too. The “you’re great” stuff is fine, but not a discussion you know?

I will say, though, that I’ve really enjoyed the discussion on this post!

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akaMonty August 19, 2010 at 2:21 pm

It’s always nice to follow a friend’s link to a gem like this. 🙂
I go back and forth on the issue (well, I’m in perimenopause and my mood swings faster than…something that swings really really fast) — I don’t mind following people on twitter who don’t follow me back, but if I reply to them or @ them several times and they never answer? That makes me dump them because hey, it’s common courtesy.
There are people who follow me that I do love but don’t follow for one reason or another – maybe they flood my stream or they get all political or hashtaggy or just annoying…but I try to always reply when they @ me.
Unfortunately I so rarely have time to read all the wonderful blogs that I’ve accumulated on my blogroll over the years, so I find myself skimming through them on a feed reader and not actually going to the blog to leave a comment. I frequently promise myself that I will do better, but realistically it’s probably not going to happen.
I’m glad I followed Hilly’s link over here. 🙂

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Ginger August 19, 2010 at 9:47 pm

Glad to have you!

Ooh, now you bring up a great point about following versus replying. I hadn’t really delved into that, but I WILL eventually unfollow someone who never ever responds to my @’s. Because you’re right, that’s just common courtesy, and doesn’t really take much out of a person. I mean, if someone is following 4000 people I’ll maybe give them a little leeway, but I don’t follow that many people with those kinds of numbers anyway.

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Elizabeth August 19, 2010 at 5:39 pm

The way I respond to comments lately just depends on how tired I am! When I first started blogging, I tried to respond to every single comment on every post, but now I just kind of sporadically pick posts to respond to. I make an effort to at least stop by anyone who comment’s blog, but sometimes if I leave a comment, I feel trapped into stopping by again and again while at the same time trying to whittle my reader down to absolute favorites (like you!). Ahhh! The pressures of blogging! 😉

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Ginger August 19, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Oh, trust me, I get the tiredness thing (hi, did you see how lonely and sad my blog was last year while I was pregnant? I SO get it!). That’s part of why I try not to hold commenting (or not) against people–blogging is wonderful and a great way to “meet” people, but there’s also real life and time and all that jazz.

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Kaley July 4, 2011 at 10:08 pm

I read who I like, when I like, how I like. I don’t really care if someone follows me back or comments on everything I say. I like who I like, I don’t do it because I want them to like me or comment on my blog, I do it because I enjoy what they have to say. It’s not all about “me” all the time. I couldn’t imagine only restricting myself to those who give me attention back.

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Rachael January 19, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I read TONS of blogs whose authors I think have zero idea who I am, nor do they come visit my blog. Do I get excited when they respond to a comment of mine? Sure. Do I sort of wish some of them lived in my neighborhood so we could hang out? Definitely. But like you said, even if they don’t, I still enjoy reading their blogs, or I wouldn’t be doing it. I love when people read my blog and comment, and when I gain new followers. But even if only 2 people were reading, I’d keep writing. It’s just who I am.

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Ginger January 22, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I think, too, that you have to do it for you first and others second, or else it’s entirely too easy to burn out on blogging. I find that I never get blogging burnout because this is my little space to dump my brain, and so at it’s heart, it’s for ME.

That’s not to say I don’t love readers and commenters though!

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misssrobin January 23, 2012 at 5:13 pm

I started reading blogs the same way I read books or newspaper articles, consuming what is offered without any intention of relationship. I still mostly read this way. I comment when I feel moved to, not on everything. And I rarely respond to people who comment on my blog. I understand that it’s not the norm and I lose readers because of it, but I’m okay with that. I blog for me, because I want to write. I like that people like it, but I’m okay with it if no one else reads it, too.

While I think you are different from the norm in the blogging world, I don’t think that’s wrong. Be true to who you are and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. That’s my mantra for life and for blogging (which aren’t always the same thing).

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