Relax, reset

by Ginger on May 21, 2010

in I'm a Disaster

Next week, next week, next week, next week.

5 more days, just 5 more days.

It’s almost here, so close, so close, so close.

Can you tell I’m antsy about my upcoming vacation? I’m seriously in need of a break from the real world, so the idea of leaving my keys with the house/catsitter, hopping on a plane with my family and just not doing anything related to my day to day life is so wonderful that I can practically taste it. I need a break folks, a break from work, from my blog, from my LIFE. For 6 sweet days I’m going to slip on the persona of a carefree traveler (well, as carefree as one can be with a baby in tow), and try and reset myself.

I don’t know how I let myself get to this point. To this breaking point where everything is too much, and too stressful and just…too. I’d blame it on the baby, but honestly I’ve always been like this. I think I work myself to the bone–working through lunch, pushing to make my work output perfect, taking on other people’s slip-ups–until I just am a vibrating ball of stress and frayed nerves. N.C. and I have talked about it before, and I think I end up caring too much and take it all to heart. I like to pretend that I’m all “screw it, it’s just a job” but that’s not how I operate. My personal work ethic makes me care too much, so I end up taking it all on to the point that I feel personally injured when things aren’t working. Or when a coworker decides, yet again, to not do their job. Or when someone misses a deadline that makes me miss a deadline. Taken on their own, these things aren’t big issues, but when you take every little one on, it becomes this mountain of strain on your shoulders.

Of course, what happens then is that I get so stressed and worked up that everything else becomes strained too. Freaking out over bills (that we can totally pay and why the hell am I freaking out over a bill we knew was coming, and isn’t out of the ordinary and we can afford?). Wanting to cry when a blog post doesn’t go over well. Throwing a tantrum (there’s no other word for it) when someone cuts me off on the freeway. Snapping at my husband for stupid crap. You know, letting the stress multiply and magnify. Perfect.

So, a vacation. Doctor prescribed, and wholeheartedly endorsed by friends and husbands and bosses (when your boss says you need a vacation folks, you NEED a vacation). I’m a little nervous, yes–first big trip with the kid which is nervewracking and a little stressful–but I can’t wait. Even if all we do is sit in the hotel and order room service I’ll be a happy girl, so at least I’m not expecting the moon!

And hopefully, when I come back, I’ll be ME again. The me that doesn’t feel like crying over an annoying coworker. The me who doesn’t snap at my husband for every.little.thing. The me who doesn’t have a ball of pain in her back. The me who I miss desperately right now.

Here’s to vacation and refinding me.

Lisa May 21, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Yay for vacation! It sounds like you need one, and I hope it’s wonderful!

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