Signs your partner might be a douchebag (Childbirth class edition)

by Ginger on July 13, 2009

in Oh Baby!

I wasn’t going to do a baby related list this week, I swear. I actually had this whole other list worked out of ways that California drivers are crazy. But my weekend pretty much forced me to do a baby post, since it was filled with baby things…we bought paint for the nursery, we bought some baby necessities like the car seat, and we told our families the name we’ve decided on (we’re still determining how many people outside of the grandparents we’re going to tell…). But the biggest thing driving my need to post a baby list was the two day childbirth prep class we took.

One thing that was fantastic about the class, was it reinforced my knowledge that my husband is amazing, supportive, engaged, interested, and going to be a great dad. He was great during the class–taking notes, asking questions, listening, paying attention to if I needed anything, all the things that make me know he’s going to be such a great “coach” during the labor process, and such a fantastic dad.

Some of the other partners in this class? Not so much. Really, most of the other partners looked and acted as if they were dragged along only at the threat of having their access to ESPN or (future) sex cut off. Seriously, some of these people made the moms-to-be so embarrassed and uncomfortable as to make them wish they hadn’t come. There was one couple next to us where the wife kept whispering to her husband “stop, you’re embarrassing me” “honey, that hurts my feelings” “why can’t you be involved like that guy (pointing to my husband)”. And yet this guy just kept on…I felt so bad for her.

So as a warning checklist of sorts, let me present you with a some clues your significant other might be a douchebag, and at bare minimum is somewhat clueless and insensitive, based on what I saw and heard this weekend:

  • On your partner’s weight gain during pregnancy: “Yeah, she’s gained a lot–she used to be so thin.”
  • During the tour of a labor and delivery suite, after seeing the tv: “Hopefully a game will be on that day.”
  • When asked if there are any questions about the labor & delivery room: “Does the TV have a remote?”
  • On seeing a video of breastfeeding: “Hey honey, that’s what your tits look like!” (said loud enough for the whole class to hear).
  • Playing on your PSP for 3 hours straight during the class.
  • Not 30 seconds after being told that mom-to-be had extremely severe morning sickness for 7 months straight, dad is asked how he thinks the pregnancy has been going: “Oh, it’s been great, really fantastic.”
  • Laughing through the entire relaxation exercise because mom’s breathing “sounds funny”
  • After hearing that sex may not be on the table for 6 weeks after birth: “Six weeks? Psh, like you’ll make me wait that long.”
  • Whispering to mom-to-be during a discussion on weight gain: “Don’t worry honey, I’m sure you’ll look good again someday. Or I hope so.”

As always, more lists can be found over at abdpbt:


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