Ramble Ramble

My Post-Pregnancy To-Do List:

• Sleep on my stomach
• Eat a spicy tuna roll or 3
• Have a michelada (my favorite way to enjoy a light Mexican beer)
• Sleep on my back
• Have a filet mignon, on the rare side of medium rare
• Eat a giant italian cold-cuts sandwich
• Enjoy being able to get up and down from seated without help
• Revel in not having to pee every 10 minutes
• Have every cheese that’s been denied me the last few months: brie, blue, feta, goat…
• Wear real shoes again. I never thought I’d be tired of flip-flops

This week, I am 31 weeks pregnant, which equals either the end of my 7th month or the beginning of my 8th depending on which calendar you chose to use (how this ends up so confusing, I’m not entirely sure). But either way, I’ve theoretically got another 9 weeks to go before having this baby. 9 weeks. Just over two months. Can I just nap until the end of August?

I haven’t had a horrible pregnancy by any stretch of the imagination–on the contrary, I’ve been very, very lucky. I haven’t had any really horrible symptoms in any of my trimesters (so far, knock on wood), and beyond a little anemia (easily fixed w/iron supplements), there have been no major health issues that should affect me or the baby. The little guy is growing well, he’s got a good strong heartbeat, and we’re both just chugging along day by day. But I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’m not one of those women who loves being pregnant.

Do I like being pregnant? No, no I don’t. I don’t like the fact that my body is not my own. I don’t like the fact that I’ve taken to sleeping in the lazyboy to get a remotely decent nights sleep. I don’t particularly care for the fact that I have to pee every ten minutes. I don’t like the random aches and pains (the new one that feels like a groin pull is particularly not awesome). I don’t like the whole pregnant woman as public property thing that seems to happen (seriously folks, don’t touch my stomach, don’t tell me how big I am, don’t warn me about having twins. Just don’t). I don’t like the restrictions on my own movement, eating, sleeping, walking,etc. I can’t wait for this baby, but I also can’t wait until this baby is out of me!

For a long time, I felt bad about feeling that way. Really bad. I mean, you hear about these women who claim to love every minute of being pregnant. They are so overjoyed at the miracle growing inside them that it feeds into a feeling of joy at just being pregnant. I fought with a silly notion that it made me a “less-than” mom, ALREADY, just because I don’t like this part. Would people think I don’t love this kid just because I sometimes wish he could punch someone else in the ribs? Or that I wasn’t really excited about him because I would give almost anything today to not have to figure out whether to risk trying to sleep in the bed to help the groin pain, or to just give in and sleep in the chair because of the hip pain?

But I’ve finally accepted that no, I don’t like pregnancy–if there were a way to get this kid where I didn’t have to go through this, I’m pretty sure I might. But that doesn’t have one smidgen of anything to do with my feelings about the little guy. Those are my feelings about being pregnant. The two are only related biologically–not emotionally. I can, on the one hand, be sick of being pregnant and on the other be totally thrilled to be having a kid. It’s not a contradiction, and it doesn’t make me a “less-than” mom, and it doesn’t say anything about anything really. And while pregnancy is the means to an amazing, wonderful, can’t wait to meet him end–I still just can’t wait until it’s over. And the sushi rolls and sleep positions that await me there.

As always, more lists can be found over at abdpbt:

What’s this? Could it be?

Photos??

Yes, unbelievable though it may seem, I actually took photos this past weekend. Trust me, no one is more shocked than I am that after months of little, if any, photography happening, I managed to cart the camera around and take photos! (The trip to Chicago doesn’t count, cuz it was a vacation and that’s what you’re supposed to do on vacation).

Anyway, this weekend we spent Sunday afternoon at Balboa Park here in San Diego, this time attending an outdoor organ performance. Kind of random, I know, until you see this monster.

This hulking, yet gorgeous, structure is the Spreckels Organ, one of the world’s largest outdoor pipe organs. And I quote: “This unique organ contains 4,530 pipes ranging in length from the size of a pencil to 32 feet and is housed in an ornate vaulted structure with highly embellished gables.” Um yeah, that’s kind of insanely big. It sounds big too.

You can see everyone with umbrellas for shade–they rent them to you for a couple of bucks, which on a sunny San Diego day proved to be an excellent way to spend $2. Plus made for a fun little shot.

One of the things I love about San Diego is the beautiful weather–and the colors we get thanks to that weather. On a day like Sunday, blue and green can dominate the color palette.

Seriously, there wasn’t even a hint of white cloud in the sky–just that blue as far as the eye can see, punctuated by green. I may complain about the June Gloom out here in southern California, but you can’t see a trace of it on days like this one. And we’re lucky that we have more days like this than otherwise!

Anyway, after the concert was over, we went about our merry way in this little corner of Balboa Park. I got a couple of shots of one of my favorite structures in the park:

I love that second shot, it makes it look like we were in some wild jungle, not downtown San Diego. (I think this is the tower from the Museum of Man, but can’t be sure–I’m always taking photos from a distance to try and get the staircases that show in the the arches of the tower.)

But of course, it wouldn’t be me taking the photos if I didn’t throw in a macro shot somewhere. This time I fell in love with these two little stone lions outside one of the International Cottages (a quirky little area made up of cottages that promote different countries around the world, from Iran to Sweden to Italy to the US. Very cute and friendly!).

Anyway, these lions were guarding the steps to one of the cottages, Italy I believe, and I just fell in love with the crackle in their paint. I thought this was a fun little shot, and a departure from my normal floral macro!

I had a good time taking photos on Sunday, though my growing size makes it hard to get some of the shots I want–it’s hard to get down close to the ground or to maneuver into some of the contortions I’ve utilized in the past. But all in all, it was a nice reminder of the fun I have when I’m taking photos. I may have forgotten a lot of the technical things I figured out about my camera after a few months of not using it, but Sunday I was able to remember that I enjoy the experience of taking photos even if I don’t get many “good” shots out of it.

Here’s hoping I don’t forget that again.

Things I just don’t understand:

• vanity license plates that tell you the color/type of car being driven: BLKHNDA, TIMSBUG, etc.
• Jon & Kate
• Brangelina (separately, yes I get it, but together? eh)
• Twilight in particular, and vampires in general
• Uggs and shorts (well, technically Uggs and anything, but those who live in cold climates can get a pass during snowy months).
• American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, The Bachelor/Bachelorette, and most any other reality show that involves people who call in, judges who are insane, or stupid made-for-tv relationships
• Broccoflower
• The appeal of Sasha Baron Cohen
• Lady Gaga’s “fashion” sense
• why the grocery store feels the need for a thunder soundtrack while the veggies get watered

As always, more lists can be found over at abdpbt:

Um, did anyone else realize that it’s almost the end of June? Which for me means I’m officially about 2 months away from my due date? Which means I might officially start panicking?

I mean, I knew it was getting closer–you know what with the swollen feet, and the clothes not fitting, and the waddling (seriously, I waddle already. It’s sad). I just didn’t realize quite HOW close it was getting until I started working on a project for work that has a timeline, and I was able to see, in stark black and white, just how soon that date is approaching. It’s a project that I will start, but won’t be able to see through to completion. That was a big, giant wake-up call.

This big wake-up call may be why I suddenly feel the need to go ahead and DO a lot of the things on my to-do list. For the longest time, I felt like I could say “oh we have plenty of time.”  I don’t quite feel that way anymore–we have two months, yes, but knowing how we both procrastinate, I know those two months could easily slip by with little getting accomplished other than freak outs.

That’s not to say that we haven’t done anything. On the contrary, we’ve done a fair amount, including:

• scheduling childbirth classes
• starting registries
• researching a 529
• ordering the crib bedding (we’re having it made for a fraction of the cost of buying one)
• priming the nursery (it was brown before…bleh)
• saving for my maternity leave
• buying a crib & changing table, and moving our dresser into the nurser
• deciding on at least some cloth diapering

But we still have a lot left to do, like:

• choosing a pediatrician or family care doctor
• finishing up the registries (I feel like we’re missing a lot–any mommies want to check ours out and give me feedback?)
• painting the nursery
• picking a name
• researching and deciding on all the biggie issues: circumcision, vaccinations, daycare.
• finalizing all my maternity leave paperwork with HR
• putting together my maternity leave plan for work, including all the marketing plans for the three months I’ll be gone
• decorating the nursery
• actually buying all the baby stuff (we’re using the registries just as much for ourselves as for anyone else, if we’re honest)

There’s more little stuff, but those are the ones weighing on my mind. I know, in the end, we’ll get it all done–and if not, babies have been born into this world without every single thing being in place beforehand, so we’ll survive. And the kiddo will never know if everything’s not “perfect” before he arrives. It’s more for my peace of mind (obviously). It’s just that all of a sudden, it seems like it’s right around the corner, and I’m not ready yet.

But really, are you ever REALLY ready for the change that a new baby brings?

You know what I just love? I just love when I have a crazy day of meetings. Seriously, here’s what my meeting schedule is for the day: 9-10, 10-10:30, 10:30-11:30, 11:30-12:00, 1:00-2:00, 2:00-3:00, 3:00-4:00, 4:00-5:00. So yeah, looks like I’m not getting anything done today. (barring this quick vent of a blog post).

You know what else I love? I just love when I come in early to prep for my first meeting and find that the meeting has been rescheduled to another day. I hate getting up early. I hate when meetings are canceled at the last minute because the other participants can’t get their act together enough to prepare for a meeting that’s been on the calendar for 2 weeks.

I just don’t know why it’s so hard to be considerate of your coworkers time. Why is it that your inability to prepare trumps everything else? Why do your deadlines take priority over mine, and the other 8 people in that meeting?

Grrr.